Law presents dilemma to adoptive couple

By Vicki Viotti
Advertiser Staff Writer

The bus arrived and, once again, it was time to go. The older Erika May Remolacio grows, the harder it has become to face a reality that's harsh for a 9-year-old who lives in the Philippines: "Home" for Mom and Dad is in Hawai'i, 5,000 miles away.

Flordeliza Remolacio, left, and her husband, Romeo, look through photos of their adopted daughter Erika May, who remains in the Philippines because of an immigration law. Richard Ambo • The Honolulu Advertiser

"She's crying and holding me," Flordeliza Remolacio, the girl's adoptive mother, recalled of their February visit. "When it's time to get on the bus my husband had to pull her away."

There have been years of goodbyes — before and since the Philippines adoption went through five years ago — because immigration laws won't let Romeo and Flordeliza Remolacio bring their daughter to Hawai'i until at least one parent packs up and moves back to the Philippines for two years.

The Remolacios of Aliamanu are among families handcuffed by a U.S. immigration law that bars the entry of an adoptive, non-orphan child until at least one of the parents has established parental custody by living with the child for two years.

The law's intent is to keep people from using adoption as a cheat to get others into the country and, said immigration lawyer Jim Stanton, "to prevent people from just selling their babies."

But adoptive parents, already settled in the United States, often have adopted by the time they learn of this rule and are reluctant to move back to their home country, fearful of giving up their jobs or immigration status.

The problem is that Erika May was not an orphan when the Remolacios adopted her. She is Romeo Remolacio's biological niece. He said his brother and sister-in-law conceived the baby for the Remolacios to adopt after hearing of their difficulty conceiving on their own.

"There's a good policy reason for it," Stanton said. "We've run into situations where that might have occurred in the distant past. Children will be kidnapped and sold."

It's not uncommon for couples such as the Remolacios to phone or turn up in adoption offices locally, although nobody's ever tracked the problem. A few agencies here reported seeing a handful of these cases — non-orphan international adoptions — every year.

"They have come to us for assistance," said Vilma Braga, adoption program supervisor at Child & Family Service, referring to parents in similar circumstances. "But because of the law we were unsuccessful."

It's not a problem restricted to the Philippines, and although Braga said the government does not encourage international adoptions through "independent placement," adoptions within families is considered culturally acceptable there, similar to the traditional hanai custom in Hawai'i.

It's enough of an issue that the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services is piloting a program to encourage parents to adopt foreign-born children who have first been deemed orphans. The pilot program, launched in July, will guide parents through the paperwork of adopting and seeing that the child is judged to be an orphan. These include cases in which both biological parents are dead and those in which a single surviving parent is unable to raise the child.

It's offered only to families adopting children from the Philippines, Haiti, Honduras, Poland and Sierra Leone. Kane didn't know whether these countries were chosen randomly or because of a preponderance of problem cases like the Remolacios'.

And it won't help that couple, because both of Erika May's biological parents are still living. They last saw their daughter in May, and their employers in the hotel industry can't release them for their next vacation until after the holidays.

Since her birth, the Remolacios have spent collectively about half the required two years with Erika May. They've sought permission to log the rest of the time in this country but have failed so far, Romeo said; immigration officials told them applications to bring Erika May here on tourist visas would likely be denied.

Now they're pursuing a student visa for her to attend Catholic school in Hawai'i, but the opportunities for foreign students in the Catholic school system have narrowed. Laws governing foreign students have tightened since Sept. 11, and fewer schools here are offering spots to them.

Her father understands the rationale for the laws but said it's hard to fathom why there can be no exception for couples who entered into an adoption in good faith. He's heard of cases — and Stanton confirms them — in which special bills are introduced in Congress to shorten the requirement for cohabitation, enabling the child's immigration.

And they realize that the only solution ultimately may be sacrificing jobs and home here to meet the requirement. The money they send for her schooling, the care packages of toys and clothes, the phone calls to the Philippines ... none of this bridges the gap for a 9-year-old girl, whose emotional struggles are getting worse.

"Before, when she was still young, she didn't care as much," Romeo said. "We'd say, 'Oh, we're going home,' and she'd just listen.

"Now that she's getting older, she starts crying," he said. "A week before we left she started begging me not to leave. It's really hard."

Reach Vicki Viotti at vviotti@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8053.