By Mike Leidemann
Advertiser Staff Writer

I know I should be worrying about the war, the economy, the terrorists and the election, but these days its Martha Stewart, Bob Edwards and a skinny redhead kid named John Stevens that are on my mind.

Hey, all politics are local, right?

So I spend a lot of time complaining to my wife that Martha Stewart and Bob Edwards are getting raw deals and wonder what it portends for the rest of us. She wonders what I'm getting all worked up about.

If poor Stewart can be convicted just for denying that she did anything wrong, and if Edwards, the voice of National Public Radio, can be pushed aside just for doing what he did so well for 30 years, then what hope is there for the rest of us who don't control a billion-dollar empire or command a multimillion-member audience?

Stewart may very well have engaged in insider stock trading, but that's not what she's going to jail for. Instead, she's facing prison time for denying that she did anything wrong, which brings to mind all the times I told my mother I didn't do something when I had ("No, Mom, I swear I didn't eat the whole bag of potato chips you just bought, all by myself") and all the times I told my wife that I did something when I hadn't ("Yes, dear, I swear I worked till midnight, then came straight home").

If that kind of honest hypocrisy is going to get people in trouble, we better be thinking big time about expanding our prisons, because there are a lot of us sons and husbands out there who practice it all the time in the name of domestic harmony, which is something Martha Stewart surely understands.

And if people in the prime of their careers like Bob Edwards are going to be sent out to pasture just because one of his young bosses "wants to move in a different direction," then we all better be start thinking about increasing — not cutting — Social Security, because there are a lot of us baby boomers reaching a certain age when we're finally just getting the hang of this job of life at exactly the same moment when we're being made irrelevant by an up-and-coming generation that wants to move in a different direction, too.

Don't go getting your blood pressure all worked up, my wife says, by which she means I shouldn't worry about things which I can't control and also I shouldn't eat the whole bag of potato chips I just bought, all by myself. Maybe I should grab a beer and relax in front of the TV, she says.

Which is where I discover this kid John Stevens, who is possibly — no, definitely! — the worst singer ever to appear on American television.

This kid lacks the whole package: talent, charm, good looks or a voice — and yet somehow he keeps advancing week after week on "American Idol" in a way that makes you sure that someday he's going to knock out our own Hawai'i sweethearts, Jasmine and Camile, in a move that's going to prove once and for all that there's no justice in the world, get the blood pressure of the entire state all worked up and start us thinking about really bad things, like the war, the economy, the terrorists and the election — not to mention the prospect of $3-a-gallon gasoline.

Reach Mike Leidemann at 525-5460 or mleidemann@honoluluadvertiser.com.