By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

With national "tax day" just around the corner, your friends at the Internal Revenue Service would like to remind you to carefully read the rules before claiming any deductions this year.

Otherwise you could soon be on the receiving end of a letter from the IRS.

Maybe even like people such as:

Dear Jim Calhoun
Basketball coach, University of Connecticut

That was quite some performance by your center, Emeka Okafor, the other night. So, we understand what a blow it will be to your team to lose him for next year and feel your pain.

However, under current tax law his departure still will not entitle you to a depreciation allowance on your taxes.

Dear Dave Shoji
Volleyball coach, University of Hawai'i

A belated congratulations on another fine season by the Rainbow Wahine.

While we are well aware that you have won 90 consecutive Western Athletic Conference matches and all the conference championships since 1998, we regret to inform you that "owning" the other schools in the conference in that sense does not actually qualify you to take an educational tax credit.

Dear Chris Ford
Coach, Philadelphia 76ers

We are not unsympathetic to your plight as interim head coach of the Philadelphia 76ers.

However, no matter how childish Allen Iverson might seem at times we still cannot permit you to claim a childcare credit just for putting up with him and his whining.

If it makes you feel any better, Larry Brown wasn't allowed one, either.

Better luck with your next team.

Dear George Steinbrenner
Owner, New York Yankees

As much as Alex Rodriguez wanted out of Texas, your taking him off the Rangers' payroll still doesn't fall under our definition of a charitable contribution. Therefore, we are disallowing it on your latest tax return.

Dear Bill Bidwell
Owner, Arizona Cardinals

While we recognize that your franchise has certainly had its problems winning in the NFL and take note of the stack of the attached newspaper clippings referring to your operation as a "disaster," we are not in a position to allow you to claim federal funds for disaster relief.

Dear Jim Tracy
Manager, Los Angeles Dodgers

Your claim of a tax credit to replace worn equipment — your team's bats — would stand a better chance of approval if the team didn't finish last in the majors in hitting last season.

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.