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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, April 9, 2004

Siblings get chance to bond

By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

When Devin Alford talks about the three brothers he and his wife call "our boys," he uses the word "wild" a lot.

There's the story about their first visit. Alford took the boys to the zoo. They were so wild that he finally told the kids to just run in a circle around him because he was tired of yelling for them to stay together.

Taking them to the movies was a bad idea, Alford found out. Too wild for all that sitting.

Then there was the time the boys were each given a Sears gift certificate. Alford thought they'd go wild in Sears and he braced for the worst.

"I was totally wrong," he says. "They could have taken 10 hours to choose what they wanted. They were so careful in making their decisions."

In the last three years, the three boys have gone through 12 different foster families, two social workers and various therapists and programs. Alford and his wife, volunteers for Project Visitation, have been the only continuity in the boys' young, wild lives.

As of December 2003, 2,123 children were in foster care on O'ahu. About 75 percent of those children, about 1,500, have been separated from their siblings. Project Visitation volunteers gather up the siblings from their different foster homes and bring them together for an outing once a month. It doesn't take much money, it's about time — and a lot of driving. If not for people like Alford, the children may never get to see their brothers and sisters again.

"They try to be such tough little boys when there's other kids around, but they love each other so much." Alford says. "They're so happy to see each other. "

Kim Coco Iwamoto has been a Project Visitation volunteer for a year.

"I think of it as the 3 C's," she says. "Coordinating, chauffeuring and chaperoning. It's different from being a Big Brother or Big Sister. The focus of the outing is for the siblings to bond with each other."

Iwamoto partnered up with another volunteer to pick up three sisters from their different foster homes for a visit. Sometimes the siblings are clear across the island from each other.

"The girls will prepare stuff the night before, like photo albums to share. They'll say to each other, 'I've never seen that picture!' It's amazing to watch them touch base about their shared history together."

There are only 40 active Project Visitation volunteers. That leaves hundreds of kids without a way to see their brothers and sisters.

"Their whole lives, they're going to be wondering about them," says Idea Canevascini, Project Visitation coordinator.

As for Alford's boys, they're not so wild these days. "They've been through so much," he says. "They're good boys. They're growing up to be little gentlemen."

The next Project Visitation training session will be 6 p.m. April 22 at Volunteer Legal Services Hawai'i, 545 Queen St.. Suite 100. Call 536-3411.