Newcomers can avoid pitfalls of office meetings

By Tim Higgins
Des Moines (Iowa) Register

Your office meeting: Enter at your own risk.

Deborah Rinner knows the horror stories. As an executive coach from Tero International in West Des Moines, Iowa, she has heard tales that would make you think twice about venturing into your first real-world meeting unprepared.

Take her fable of a young man fresh on the job and so excited to be at his first meeting, he walked in and plopped down in the first available chair. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the throne of the presiding vice president.

"That was very embarrassing," Rinner remembers. "From then on, the meeting is kind of done for that person."

For someone new to the job, the pitfalls of the workplace meeting are many, experts say. Beyond not knowing who is who, common problems include:

• Showing up late. You can make a grand entrance at a party by arriving late, but showing up late for a meeting is a sign of disrespect. It might even knock a few dollars off your next raise.
• Unknowingly offending somebody. You're new and you speak out of turn, offending the den mother or middle manager who signs your paycheck.
• Being unprepared. If you haven't read the material, just nod and smile like you did in school and hope no one calls on you.
• Too timid to speak. You're afraid your ideas aren't up to snuff.

Meetings are like obstacle courses. Make it through unscathed and the prize could be career advancement, experts say.

"Meetings are a chance for people to connect," Rinner says.

Lydia Ramsey, author of "Manners That Sell," agreed. "Once they attend a couple of times, they definitely want to participate. If they don't speak up, they will end up being passed over," she says.

Key pieces of advice:

• Pay attention to what others are doing. You'll learn the office culture and quickly know if it's OK to show up chugging a bottle of Mountain Dew or if sipping coffee is more appropriate.
• Go prepared. Know the agenda and be prepared to speak on the topic. If the meeting gets sidetracked into unproductive issues, hold your ideas until it gets back on track.
• Avoid criticizing people directly. Ask open-ended questions if an idea sounds worrisome.
• Don't get defensive. If somebody criticizes your idea, don't take it personally. "It's so important to stay relaxed," Rinner says. "You want to stay detached in a way that you are thinking and concerned but not going to react emotionally."
• Write it out. If you're too timid to voice an idea in front of others, try putting your thoughts into a memo, Rinner suggests. Start the memo with something like this: "In reflection, this is what I was thinking about ... "

Remember, she says, the longer you are there, the easier it will be to participate.

Most important: Let the boss sit down first.