ABOUT WOMEN
Housework helps, but you'll still only look good once a month

By Christie Wilson
Advertiser Staff Writer

Headlines in newspapers across the globe recently declared: "Housework cuts cancer risk."

One paper went even further: "Housework can save women from cancer."

Yes, but what's going to save women from housework?

Actually, the study by U.S. and Chinese researchers said that physical activity reduced the risk of endometrial cancer — cancer of the cells lining the uterus — by as much as 30 percent. The study said the physical activity included walking and, yes, household chores.

Of course, not all newspapers went with the happy-housewife angle — I'm proud to say The Advertiser was one that did not — but plenty others did, and I'm pretty sure it was an attempt at putting not-so-subtle spin on the research findings.

I mean, why not "Shopping cuts cancer risk," since for hard-core female consumers like me, a day at the mall is equivalent to running a marathon. Why not snowboarding or tango lessons, for that matter?

If this was a study involving male subjects, you would not have seen this headline: "Fixing-the-dang-screen-like-I-told-you cuts cancer risk."

More likely the news reports would've screamed: "Twice-weekly golf cuts cancer risk!"

Or, "Frequent sex may reduce prostate cancer risk," which was an actual headline from last week. No doubt that research was funded by the same people who brought us the housework-is-good-for-you study.

Next thing you know, we'll be seeing the American Cancer Society seal of approval on Swiffer mops and Lemon Pledge.

Industry has spent billions manufacturing and marketing robot vacuums, no-scrub floors and other products designed to make "women's work" more efficient and less labor-intensive. Now science tells us they've got it all wrong: We need to do more — at least four hours a day, according to the recent study — not less housework.

The study did not explain whether, to get the maximum cancer-fighting benefit, the chores had to be done in one intense four-hour grind or whether they could be accomplished in 15-minute bursts, which is how they get done at my house.

Just a day after the housework/cancer research was announced came news of a separate study that found that both men and women consider a woman's face most attractive when she is at the peak of her fertility.

One researcher explained that this phenomenon likely occurs at the time in a women's menstrual cycle when the probability of conception is at its highest, in order to increase her relative value in "the mating market" — try wait, I think I've been to that bar.

The headline: "Women look best once a month."

Just once a month? It would be nice to know so I can plan a night out.

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com or (808) 244-4880.