FAMILY MATTERS
Uncovering hidden agendas in the to-do list

By Michael C.DeMattos

We had a busy day ahead of us. There was ballet at midmorning, a quick visit to my father in the afternoon, and then, later that evening, a discussion with our reading group of "The Da Vinci Code."

A typical Saturday filled to the brim, but the morning was mine. My daughter was in the living room coloring, my wife was riding the stationary bike, and I was hiding out in the guest room still in my jammies. I was content; hot cup of java in hand, the dog at my feet and the TV tuned to The Masters. It was the perfect morning.

Then my wife peered into the room, concern on her face.

"We have a lot to do today, and you promised your daughter that you would rent 'Cheaper by the Dozen' for her and her friends," she said.

I remembered my promise. This, too, was typical of a Saturday, a to-do list that ran on like a highway. Still, I was in a good mood, thankful for the small sabbatical I had already enjoyed earlier that morning. I jumped up from the futon, changed clothes and headed out the kitchen door.

"The video store does not open until 10 a.m.," my wife said.

I stopped in midstride while she continued stuffing sandwiches into plastic bags. "But you just told me to go get the video," I said. "If the store does not open for another hour, what is the rush?"

"Because you need to take out the trash, pick up the dog poop and put away the dishes," she replied matter-of-factly.

I was dumbfounded. "So you reminded me about the video because I actually needed to pick up poop? I do not get it."

Now, I do not mind picking up videotapes or doggy doo, but how was I supposed to make the leap from one to the other? My wife had finally lost her mind.

"It is simple," she said. "There is a lot to do today, and it is important that you stay on task. You will need to pick up the video once the store opens, so it is important that you finish your other tasks now because you will not have the time later."

She was right, of course. With all the things going on, I would need to be strategic in my duties. Still, I did not know whether to be impressed or worried.

Talk about cryptic messages, I felt as if I was suddenly thrust into "The Da Vinci Code" myself.

Later that same night my wife asked me to change the batteries in the flashlight. But I knew better. I knew there was some hidden message, and within moments I broke the code.

What she really wanted was for me to walk the dog, but since it was already dark, I needed the flashlight. The only problem was the flashlight was dead. Thus her request to change the batteries was really a cryptic message informing me to take out the pooch.

I had it all figured out.

Then she said something about finding a lost shoe for my daughter.

So much for Mike the cryptologist.

Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.