Reservist families cope with shock of deployment

By Karen Blakeman
Advertiser Staff Writer

Ian Naumu, bottom right, holds a photo of his father, Michael Naumu (center), who is serving in Iraq. Behind him, from left, are brother Royce with a photo of their sister, Jennifer; mother Laurie; and sister Taylor. The Naumus live in Hawai'i Kai. Eugene Tanner • The Honolulu Advertiser

She didn't live on a base or near one. Her children didn't know other military children and she didn't speak the Army's odd lingo of numbers and acronyms. She never had to watch as her husband was sent into harm's way, knowing at least a year would pass before she would see him again.

When Spc. Michael Naumu and more than 400 other Hawai'i Reservists with the 411th Engineer Battalion were ordered to active duty in January and sent to Iraq a few weeks ago, Laurie Naumu's life changed dramatically.

"It's just so hard to deal with this military life," she said. "And it's so hard not to talk to this person that you've seen every day for so many years."

Michael and the other members of the 411th are near Baghdad now, building temporary structures on a new base camp called Victory North. Sometimes they get a few moments to talk on the phone. Sometimes they don't.

When too many days pass without a call, Laurie worries. Often, she cries.

Having a spouse in a war zone is a difficult adjustment for anyone, said Karinne Cortes, whose husband, Capt. Marwin Cortes, spent eight years on active duty before transferring to the 411th. But active-duty families are probably better equipped to cope with long separations than Reserve soldiers and National Guardsmen, she said.

"They're all going through the same thing, and they help each other out," Cortes said. "They live on post, and they are aware of a lot more things that are available to them. They're tighter-knit."

Leinaala Kanana of Wai'anae holds daughter Emma, born a week before her Army Reserve father, Spc. Daniel Kanana, was activated. Rebecca Breyer ª The Honolulu Advertiser

They might be financially strapped as well. While the pay of active-duty soldiers usually increases during deployments, Reservists leave their primary careers behind, she said, and their pay often drops.

Although the chances of being deployed have increased for Reserve and National Guard troops in recent years, most don't believe it will happen to them.

Cortes said Marwin decided to leave active duty and go into the Reserves so he could start a career in financial planning and the two of them could start a family. They didn't have a chance to do either before he was sent to Iraq.

Cortes and other 411th spouses scattered across Hawai'i and Alaska, American Samoa and Guam are trying to catch up. They are organizing themselves by location into family readiness groups, finding time to socialize with each other, help each other out and review the basics of military life.

Getting a group together, even on O'ahu, takes a little advanced planning. Reservist families rarely live near bases; they are spread through communities across the island.

A portrait of Spc. Daniel Kanana and his wife, Leinaala. Leinaala said her life changed so dramatically with the deployment that she often feels lonely and out of place. Rebecca Breyer • The Honolulu Advertiser

Naumu's best military friend, Leinaala Kanana, wife of Spc. Daniel Kanana, lives in Wai'anae.

Kanana, who gave birth to her daughter, Emma, a week before her husband was activated, moved in with her husband's parents to save money. Daniel makes less in the Army than he did at Diamond Head Sprinkler, and now they have another mouth to feed.

Kanana said her life changed so dramatically with the deployment that she often feels lonely and out of place.

"I'll be out at a store or something," she said, "and I'll overhear someone talking about how somebody's son was deployed, and I just want to grab them and say, oh, can I talk to them? Can I get together with them?"

Talking to Laurie Naumu, getting together to raise money and prepare care packages for the 411th soldiers, helps both to cope.

The Naumus have four children, one in college and three in parochial schools. Michael's pay as an Army E-4 is about half what he made as a journeyman carpenter, Laurie said.

Naumu and the kids live with her parents in Hawai'i Kai and try hard to keep expenses down. The Catholic schools her middle two children attend cut tuition payments so the kids could finish out the year, she said. The Baptist preschool gave the family a basket of goodies to cheer them up, and tied up yellow ribbons to show her youngest son, Royce, that they care about his father, too.

She isn't really sure that at age 5 he understands.

"Mom, you're not going to leave me too, are you?" he recently asked.

Shannon Libao of Hilo, Hawai'i, said her family income dropped when her husband, Jarmie Libao, was deployed with the 411th. His military pay as an Army sergeant is less than he made as a registered nurse at Hilo Medical Center.

Libao, also a nurse, had to cut her hours at work to spend more time at home and make up for the time Jarmie spent with their four children, ages 9 through 16.

"He coached their basketball and baseball teams," she said. "He took them to all their activities."

Their youngest, Brandon, recently decided to drop out of sports.

"Just a one-year break until his father gets back," she said. "He just doesn't have the heart to play, I guess."

Brandon has trouble sleeping at night, Libao said. Two of her children have regular nightmares.

She doesn't sleep much, either. That's how she got close to Renae Glover, another 411th wife. The two pass sleepless nights on the telephone.

"We're midnight phone buddies," Glover said. "We're up to 2, 3 in the morning."

Talking to Libao helps a lot, she said.

"Others will ask me how I'm doing, and I'll say, 'Oh, I'm OK.' But when somebody actually understands what you are going through, you can talk," she said.

Glover said she doesn't get out much since Gaytan left. She doesn't feel like leaving the house.

"I don't know if I'm waiting for him to call, or what," she said. "But I'd rather be home than anywhere else.

"I have pictures of him all over the house," she said. "I have them in the car. When he calls, I save his voice mails on the phone and play them over and over.

"I pray," she said. "Constantly."

Wait and worry are common to the families of the deployed soldiers, said Marcie Lesaigugam, a Big Island family readiness group leader and fiancee to Army 1st Sgt. Tom Raffipiy.

"Even the children sense the danger," she said. "And we are all counting the days."

Reach Karen Blakeman at 535-2430 or kblakeman@honoluluadvertiser.com.

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	Leinaala watches the news with baby Emma. They live with Daniel's parents to save money while he is in Iraq. Rebecca Breyer • The Honolulu Advertiser
	Ian Naumu sits with his mother, Laurie. With the head of the household gone, the family is feeling emotional and financial strain. Eugene Tanner • The Honolulu Advertiser
	Royce Naumu, Laurie Naumu, Taylor Naumu and Ian Naumu pray for Michael before dinner. Laurie and the kids live with her parents in Hawai'i Kai and try to keep expenses down. Eugene Tanner • The Honolulu Advertiser