Posted on: Monday, August 2, 2004
Power of forgiveness celebrated
By Karen Blakeman
Advertiser Staff Writer
Steve Backman was a construction worker drinking his way through the rainy season before crisis — and forgiveness — changed his life. Ricky Hirakawa found similar release from his grief over the drug-related murder of his brother.
Andrew Shimabuku • The Honolulu Advertiser The event included hula, inspirational talks, Hawaiian chants and meditation.
Other honorees included members of the 442nd Regimental Combat Team and 100th Infantry Battalion, who fought valiantly for a country that had imprisoned their family members; Amy Mizuno, a woman who went on from her experiences in internment camps to dedicate her life to teaching; Greg Chow, an orthopedic surgeon who volunteered to go to the Middle East with the Army National Guard; and Gloria Tumbaga, a woman who set aside her resentment over her life as a foster child to work with other foster children.
A special honor was given to the late Dr. Jerry Chang of the East-West Center, who dedicated his life to humanitarian causes worldwide.
Backman was the recipient of the gift of forgiveness, and he got it from an unlikely source under exceptional circumstances.
Backman had been living in California and drinking daily, and heavily, before he met Chris Loukas. Backman was driving drunk when he swerved across a highway median and crashed into the Loukas family's car in 1995.
Chris Loukas was taken to a hospital in a coma. Backman was taken to jail and held on suicide watch until his parents bailed him out.
He spent six weeks hiding in his apartment, drinking and sneaking out at night to buy more liquor. One night, in desperation, he sneaked into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and cried in the arms of his fellow addicts.
After he had been sober for a while, he called Loukas' wife.
"Steve the drunk driver?" she said. She told him to meet her at the hospital.
The coma had lifted, but Loukas, in traction, was a pitiful sight. In addition to multiple injuries, he was in a bad financial situation, and almost lost both his home and business.
Backman wanted to run away when he saw him. Instead, he pleaded for forgiveness. Loukas shushed him.
"It's already done," he said.
Through the strength given to him with that gift, Backman has remained sober for 9› years.
Hirakawa gained strength from the other side of the equation. When his brother was shot to death, he harbored only hatred and a desire for revenge.
The hatred made it difficult for Hirakawa to love those who loved him. It destroyed his relationship with his son.
When he saw that loneliness reflected in his brother's killer, standing alone in the courtroom without friends or family to support him, something in Hirakawa snapped.
He walked up to the man, and threw his arms around him.
Hawai'i International Forgiveness Day is part of the Hawai'i Forgiveness Project. Visit hawaiiforgivenessproject.org.
Reach Karen Blakeman at 535-2430 or kblakeman@honoluluadvertiser.com.
The two men were among a group of heroes honored during Hawai'i's second annual observation of International Forgiveness Day. More than 100 people attended yesterday's ceremony at Central Union Church.
Steve Backman receives a lei from Diane Cirincione, a nationally known author who often speaks on the power of forgiveness. Backman was recognized as a forgiveness hero yesterday during Hawai'i International Forgiveness Day events at Central Union Church.
