COMMENTARY
Take on bully with a prayer

By Norris Burkes

A bully called me last month yelling, pushing and shoving his way through our phone conversation. The bully was a lawyer representing a woman whose rear bumper recently encountered my front bumper.

The woman was claiming injuries, though she had left the scene assuring me that she would be OK. The 3-mph collision left a fist-sized dent in her bumper; my sport utility was too stubborn to give.

I did my best to direct the lawyer through my insurance agent, but he seemed determined to blaze a path directly through my peaceful afternoon with my family at the ice cream parlor. So, all I could do was rattle off my agent's number and wish him a pleasant day.

I then called my agent and discovered that she was bullied by the lawyer, who said disparaging things about her expertise. Like most bullies, he seemed more willing to demand than he was to give.

I ended my phone calls in much the same way the bully intended — a bit shaken, a bit fearful. But what was this fear really about?

Like the bully on the playground threatening to take away lunch money, this bully was threatening to take away what I possessed.

When someone threatens to sue us, we learn how possessed we are by our possessions.

It's as if the bully we are facing is not the bully himself, but the bully really becomes the thing he is threatening to take away. The bullying was more about how much had possessed me than it was about my money.

How does one face down a bully?

That feels like a question I've asked all my life, from the days when Bobby McGhee lay in wait for me outside my fourth-grade class through my college days when I was constantly needled by a work mate.

It's a question that has followed me from my days in my first newspaper job when a co-worker tried to get me "saved" by her own church and through my days serving in Baptist churches facing some crusty deacons.

My guess is this multiple-choice question might have more than one answer. Scriptures tend to suggest various approaches, from turning the other cheek to taking an eye for an eye to accepting things as being all for the glory of God.

But in this case, I was able to recall some unusual parenting advice given to me by my dad about facing bullies who are looking for fights.

One day I mentioned to my dad how a friend got in trouble for fighting a bully. I asked him if he'd punish me for fighting, and he said, "Sometimes you have to face down the bullies. If that means fighting, you need to start the fight with a prayer." Then he added, "Sometimes God sends people to fight for you."

So, following his advice, I said a prayer and made another call to my agent. "Do I need to hire a lawyer? Is my coverage sufficient?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Burkes. If you need a lawyer, we'll hire one for you," she said. "And your coverage, well — it's more than sufficient."

Her word "sufficient" reminded me of Paul's word to the church at Corinth, that God's "grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

So, if this bully wants to fight, I guess he should be prepared. I've started this fight with a prayer.

Norris Burkes is a civilian hospital chaplain and an Air Force Guard chaplain in Florida.