ABOUT WOMEN

By Christine Strobel
Advertiser Staff Writer

Do boys need to be chased? I use the word "boys" purposefully.

Because some of them drop hints about being interested, run away, and then come around a few days later wondering why I wasn't in pursuit.

Playing hard to get? I thought women were supposed to do that.

Is it possible, after several decades of leveling the playing field between men and women, that dating roles have switched?

Are boys being coy? Would you like some mascara to accentuate those batting eyelashes? This metrosexuality must be stopped!

Perhaps their strategy is successful. After all, it's a variant on the aphorism that bad boys get all the girls. Behave as though you couldn't care less and watch the women flock to you.

These boys are boring.

Most women will agree: It's intoxicating to be pursued, to feel a man set his sights on you like a target. There's the anticipation of his next gesture, however small — the fluttering feeling that, when it comes to you, there are zero distractions.

I reflect fondly on the last man to do that to me. He wasn't hiding his feelings like a poker hand trying to figure out how to play me.

And why should he? Naked ambition is more effective. Women appreciate a "go for it" attitude. It's a cool drink in the romance desert.

Plotting how many days to wait before calling a woman to seem more "money" is chump change. I get friends quoting me Vince Vaughn's character in "Swingers" like it's the Bible of dating. Nobody remembers the movie ends with him badly hungover and alone, flirting with a woman who doesn't know he exists!

I've had male friends tell me they wait a few days before calling a woman they've just met so they don't seem desperate. Well ... if you're desperate, waiting to call is a poor disguise. Desperation is something women can smell. How to not be desperate is another column altogether ...

When you feel that "click" with someone, stop calculating and put your intentions out there. Because most women know within five minutes if they're keeping you around.

If she's not responding to you, chalk it up to bad chemistry and move on.

But playing hard to get isn't going to trick a woman into liking you. I'm not interested in anybody who's acting uninterested or too cool for school, and most women I know feel the same.

Or maybe it's something else. Could it be that centuries of being pursuers, traditionally speaking, has tuckered you boys out, and you're just baiting us so we'll do more of the chasing? Are you thinking the sexual revolution means your wooing days are over, and you can kick up your dogs?

Some of us could be game for that, I suppose. I'm a runner, and most of the ladies I know like to get their jog on.

Just don't be surprised if we run on by after we catch you.

Reach Christine Strobel at cstrobel@honoluluadvertiser.com.