Getting married doesn't have to mean going broke
By Kathleen Lynn
Knight Ridder News Service
Limos, open bars, and bridesmaids in pastel: That big fat wedding doesn't come cheap.
In fact, the average cost of a wedding nationally is about $22,000, according to Fairchild Publications, the publishers of Modern Bride and other glossy wedding magazines.
"That's just a tremendous amount of money," said Alan Fields, co-author with his wife, Denise, of "Bridal Bargains" (Windsor Peak Press, $14.95).
And it's more than many brides are willing to pay, especially since the stock market and economy turned down a few years ago.
"People are definitely focusing on bargains, on value," Fields said.
For these thrifty couples, there are a number of books and Web sites that help find the best deals for "I do." Some of their suggestions are a bit odd (such as melting old gold dental fillings to make a wedding ring).
Others require the bride to do a lot of work herself — or rely on a devoted and talented network of family and friends who would be thrilled to sew the gown, bake the wedding cake and decorate the party space. That won't work for everyone.
"I'm a real bargain shopper, so I had really big ideas about how I was going to save money and do everything myself," said Amy Double of Montclair, N.J., an Internet content provider at The Record's parent company, North Jersey Media Group. Montclair is getting married in September.
Although she started out with a $10,000 budget, in the end she expects to spend more than twice that amount — partly because she decided against doing a lot of things herself, and partly because everything turned out to be more expensive than expected.
Still, you can have your wedding cake — and eat it, too — without going into debt. Here are some ways to save on a wedding:
• Cut the guest list. With many caterers charging $100 a person or more, this is the biggest cost in most weddings. Do you really need to invite a former co-worker you haven't seen in two years?
"It's just so expensive to feed 125 of your friends and relatives," Fields said.
• Have a Friday, Sunday, afternoon or winter wedding. Caterers will reduce the cost by about 10 percent off a prime-time Saturday-night June wedding.
• Beware of what Fields calls the "marriage markup." Some caterers, florists and other vendors will charge more for a wedding than a similar-size family reunion or retirement party — apparently on the theory that brides and grooms will be too starry-eyed to notice. Companies that do not specialize in the wedding market are worth a try.
• Consider doing without some extras. If guest favors, a limousine and an army of bridesmaids don't mean that much to you, skip them (I did, and the marriage was legal anyway). Does the groom need to rent a tux, or would a dark suit do the job?
• Comparison-shop. Prices for dresses, caterers, flowers and all the rest can vary a lot.
And, thanks to the Internet, you don't have to shop only at local merchants. You can buy a headpiece from halfway across the country, or flowers from all the way across the country.
• Don't be too shy to negotiate. "It's your money, so act like it!" exhorted Stephi Stewart, who runs an online guide called "Fire Your Wedding Planner." She advised asking vendors if they're flexible on prices and services.
• Be creative in looking for a dress. According to Fairchild, the average cost of a dress was $799 in 2002, the last time they surveyed the market. But prices and quality vary widely, according to "Bridal Bargains." So shop around.
