LOVE STORIES
Love wins day when Ice Queen meets Axe man

By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Staff Writer

Zain Axe wasn't sure at first he'd make a good match with a woman who gained a reputation at work as the "Ice Queen."

Eagle Bear (the bride's father) performs a traditional Cherokee wedding ceremony and blesses Zain Axe and Kailliata Rose Littlewing Strong Woman Axe at their wedding at the Malaekahana State Bay. The couple say they have found love in their union of opposites. Photos by Rebecca Breyer • The Honolulu Advertiser

Axe figured that out during one of their first phone conversations, when he heard her yelling at her teenage daughter to "drop and give her 20."

Axe is more of a mellow sort who practices yoga and has, what would be considered by military standards, shaggy hair that wisps around his boyish face.

How he, a computer technician living on the Big Island, came to meet the harder-edged Velez, a Desert Storm veteran stationed on O'ahu, can be explained in two words: the Internet.

There, they discovered similarities beyond sloppy spelling. They both had failed in relationships before, were raising children and shared a keen interest in their Cherokee heritage. Velez was raised by her Cherokee grandmother on a reservation in Tennessee, and Axe is a mix of English/Welsh on his mother's side and Irish/Cherokee on his father's. More than that, they each had something the other lacked.

"I was considered the 'Ice Queen,' a very harsh person," Velez said. "He had compassion and softness, and I was missing a lot of softness in my life."

So they did a lot of e-mailing and talking on the phone, and he flew over to meet her. He walked right past her at the airport, but she recognized him from his picture, and she went up and put a lei around his neck.

"When I met him, to me it was lots of sparks," she said.

Solei Ginn (only hands shown) fastens a barrette in the hair of Kailliata Rose Littlewing Strong Woman Axe before her wedding ceremony.

Their first date, in April 2002, broke the ice with one of the Ice Queen's weaknesses: Disney movies. They went to "Sunset on the Beach" in Waikiki and sat under the stars watching the animated movie "Atlantis: The Lost Empire." Thus began a long-distance relationship that led him to move to Honolulu and meld his life and family with hers.

He proposed on the Internet, "kind of as a joke," he said. "But then I got serious."

He gave her a sapphire ring the color of the ocean that reminded him of the first time they went kayaking together.

She gave him a necklace of beads from a Native American regalia that goes back seven generations in her family, which she says represents her heart and soul. He also received the native name "Dolphin."

But the engagement has not been all hearts and flowers.

About a year ago, Velez was thrown from a horse, and the accident left her unable to walk without assistance. Her injury has forced her to rely on a walker and wheelchair to get around and to give up her military career. Axe has seen her through it all.

Velez realized then even stronger than before that she had found her partner for life.

"I was looking for somebody who would be true to their heart," she said. "Someone compassionate, responsible, who would take care of things and not take me for granted."

Zain Axe and Kailliata Rose Littlewing Strong Woman Axe are blessed by Eagle Bear (Kalliata's father) at their wedding at Malaekahana State Recreation Area campground.

"They said I should not have lived," she said. "They said I would never walk again."

It was at their traditional Cherokee wedding last weekend that Velez — who now goes by Rose Kailliata Strong Woman Axe — took her first steps.

"When I was able to walk around for the first time," she said, "it was a step of a new beginning."

Forty-year-old Kailliata and Zain, 37, were married Aug. 14 at Malaekahana Bay in a ceremony that included the traditions of the Mountain Cherokee culture, complete with ceremonial clothing, flutes and drumming, a sweat lodge, a water cleansing ritual, a sacred circle and a feast with local touches (rice, chicken and salmon) in addition to the traditional fare of deer-elk stew and corn bread.

The bride wore a fringed elk-skin wedding dress with intricate beadwork and matching moccasins. The groom wore a beaded buckskin shirt, and the symbols on each represented their union. The bridal party wore sack dresses made of doe skin, and the groomsmen wore traditional ribbon shirts all made by a seamstress Axe found on eBay.

Axe's 7-year-old son, Jordan Axe, was his best man. And the bride's father, known as Eagle Bear, presided over the ceremony. A Hawaiian kahuna also gave a blessing, and there wasn't a dry eye in the circle surrounding them as they said their vows.

The groom considers their union of opposites a lesson in love: "You need to understand you will not be right all the time, and you have to be able to forgive," he said. "Know you love that person on a higher level and are committed to having a good life together."

And the bride now knows that a tender heart is not a sign of weakness.

"If you really seriously love somebody, listen with harmony and listen with your soul," she said. "But most importantly, be willing to love yourself as much as you love that other person."

Tanya Bricking Leach writes about relationships. Reach her at tleach@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8026.

	Kailliata Rose Little Wing Strong Woman Velez fastens one of her moccasins before her wedding.
	Members of the wedding party observe the Cherokee wedding ceremony, which included ceremonial clothing, flutes and drumming as well as traditions from the Cherokee mountain culture and blessings by a Hawaiian kahuna.
	Members of the wedding party, from left, Jane Dickson, Edna Quarrell, Gabrielle Arle, 18, Analiese Arle, 9, and Elleana Arle, 6, walk to the ceremony.