"As you get older, you find that your network has gone on to do other things outside of your core industry, or your network is barely hanging on to their own jobs, or your network is unemployed just like you," Gaffuri said. "It's difficult."

In a nation where people define themselves by what they do, losing a job can be devastating to both a worker's ego and finances. That's especially true for people in their 50s, the age when they should be reaching peak incomes — and putting aside peak retirement savings.

The loss of a job can turn their family's finances upside down. Getting a new position generally takes longer for men and women who are 50 and older than for other age groups, and they often must take a pay cut to get new jobs.

For Gaffuri, of Fairfax, Va., the economic blow was cushioned because his wife, Marianne, continued in her sales job. Still, they've had to make "brutally honest assessments" of their financial situation, cutting back on things like eating out and vacations.

"We also understand that the time line for achieving our objective — that is, you don't have to work but you still want to work — has extended," he said. "Every day I don't have income, it extends another day."

For the past year, he has been building his own management consulting firm, a project requiring "an incredible amount of sweat equity," he said.

Karen Hochman, head of the national Marketing Executives Networking Group, said some older workers who are laid off or fired can get very depressed or even suicidal, fearing they'll never recover from the job loss.

"Baby boomers expected to be working until age 65," Hochman said. "No one said, 'At the age of 50, you're too old to seek employment and you're going to be roaring through your retirement savings.' "

Others, she said, are so used to functioning within a corporate environment that they can't see their way clear to "reinvent" themselves, say by buying a franchise or setting up a small business.

There are also workers who find they need new skills.

Marion Elizabeth Mein, 54, of New York, handled the legal operations for a physicians' group before she lost her job a year ago. A single woman, she has had to take in a roommate to help cover the rent and other bills while she hunts for new work — or possibly a new career.

Unable to find a similar position, Mein is now thinking she should go back to school to get into a different field, perhaps in teaching or medical technology. But that has drawbacks.

Another problem for those who find themselves jobless in their 50s is discrimination — but not necessarily about age, said economist Richard Bayer, chief operating officer of the Five O'Clock Club, a career counseling and outplacement firm based in New York.

"What they have to do when they're looking for a job is not to confuse age prejudice with salary prejudice," he said. "They think they didn't get considered for a job because of their age when it could be that their salary is too high."

Bayer said older workers can be strategic, not including salaries on their résumés and trying to put off discussion of the issue in early interviews.

Dick Andersen, 55, of Littleton, Mass., lost his job in February 2002 when his company, which manufactured chips and network software, was sold. He was out of work for 20 months.

Andersen said he structured his days as if he still had a job, getting up and checking Web sites and sending out résumés and keeping in touch with executives he knew.

"I also focused myself on other things so I wouldn't lose my edge," he said. "I became even more active in the Rotary."

In December, Andersen landed a job as vice president of marketing at HighStreet Networks, which makes software products.

The starting salary, about a third of what he had earned before, has since risen to about half his previous compensation, but he also has an equity position in the company.