Putting away mementos such as photos is a healthy step toward breakup recovery, says Anthea Paul, author of "Girlosophy: The Breakup Survival Kit," (Allen & Unwin, $11.95).

In her book, Paul suggests tips for women to heal after a love loss, including a post break-up diet, exercise and a journal. She says men could also apply the tips to their lives.

"It is my hope that my suggestions will at least give someone pause for thought," Paul says in an e-mail from her Australia home.

"As I say in the book, there are no hard, fast rules here," Paul says. "I just personally think it's healthier to ease up a bit on the amount of communication. It helps you to both recover."

Paul writes from experience, she says, because once, someone broke her heart, too.

"Being dumped is a glorious rite of passage," Paul says. "And looking back on it now, I am grateful for the experience.

"(Looking back) helps you get perspective on many things. It forces you to revisit old scenarios and reframe them according to your present circumstances. And that can be fantastic."

Joel Livingston, 28, is glad his girlfriend of five years broke up with him, he says. When Livingston's ex axed the relationship over a holiday weekend last year, she told him she had changed and no longer wanted to be together.

"It's amazing what time and perspective can do," says Livingston. "I still occasionally have moments of sadness, but then the pain subsides and before long, you understand why it had to happen."

But Livingston isn't looking for anything serious or monogamous just yet.

"I'm free now," he says. "It's like being a bird in a cage — and one day your master gets drunk and kicks over the cage and sets you free. Do you think that bird is going to fly away and look for another cage?"

Author Marc Kusinitz says men cope differently than women. Kusinitz co-wrote the book "Celebrating Single & Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate," (Capital Books, $16.95).

"The first thing a guy has to do is understand what he's going through," says Kusinitz. "Men have to realize that they're not just losing companionship and sex.

"Anybody involved in a long-term relationship is in an ecological system, made up of a connection of friends, interests and places they used to go. Once they break up, the system breaks up. With that realization, the healing process can begin."

But men and women aren't so different. Like women, men need to change their routines and exercise after a breakup, Kusinitz says.

"You have to look at this as an adventure," he says. "It's the beginning of something new with new friends and new experiences."

Kusinitz researched relationship statistics while co-author Joan Allen, a professional matchmaker, interviewed real people. Both drew from their own relationship experiences to write essays for the book.

And while Kusinitz is not a professional relationship expert, he was married for 13 years, divorced and later dated. He has been in a serious, long-distance relationship with a woman for two years.