Posted on: Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Coming home isn't easy for military

Knight Ridder News Service

Advice for military people returning to their families after deployment:

• Be patient.

Starting over will be difficult for everyone.

• Approach others as equals.

Avoid the "I'm home, and I'll take charge" attitude. Focus on the fact that you can now do things together.

• Find out what new skills everyone has learned.

Learn how everyone has grown during the deployment — and use it as the starting point for rebuilding relationships.

• Arrange quiet time.

For a month or so, set a regular time to talk with family about concerns that have come up.

• Stay positive.

Keep criticism to a minimum; if it can't be avoided, keep it constructive. Even if you don't agree with decisions made in your absence, remember that you probably don't know all of the circumstances.

• Don't expect old problems to have gone away.

It's unlikely that your absence solved problems you left behind. On the other hand, being away can give you a chance to look at things with a new perspective.

Source: American Red Cross