In 2001, Makana, whose day job is as an attorney with the Native Hawaiian Hospitality Association, was invited to a Valentine's Day party at the swinging bachelor pad of Elizabeth's son, Mark.

Mark, 50, an artist who works in three dimensions, primarily with found objects, had created a crazy chandelier that caught Makana's eye. She thought "Wow! My kind of guy. And he's cute, too."

Then she learned that she was oozing enthusiasm — to Mark's girlfriend of the moment. Oops!

Several months later, "My girlfriend dumped me," Mark said. "I was heartbroken, because I was obsessed with that woman."

He met Makana again at his mother's house and invited her to dinner — to discuss how he could get his girlfriend back.

Mark and Makana began to meet regularly to discuss books, relationships and ideas. Then they discovered that they each attended Unity Church, but he went to the Honolulu church and she to Windward. The friendship grew into a spiritual bond.

Mark, who was then in his late 40s, was struggling with a long history of entanglements that lacked any serious commitment. During his soul-searching, he realized that his relationships had been based on "youth and looks. It was me listening to my head and what would validate my ego. I needed to make a shift, to be guided by my heart."

Makana had been divorced 15 years and felt no need to remarry. She also said, "I was concerned about a 'mixed marriage' — an artist and a linear lawyer person." She admits candidly that she had been as superficial as Mark, looking for a man with money.

They realized simultaneously that compassion and spirituality were values they prized and shared.

"We wanted someone we could grow with spiritually," Makana explained.

The relationship made a slight shift. "We began stealth dating," they said in one voice. Why the secrecy? Well, in a word, Mom. They knew Elizabeth would want them to get married immediately, and they preferred to take their time.

He proposed in July 2003, and they were married June 26, 2004.

The artist and the attorney are finding that their two worlds can cohabit quite comfortably, with a lot of caring and compromises.

"Both of us are independent and have our own lives. I travel for business, without him, and he can disappear into his studio to do his art, and we're both perfectly happy. We're not joined at the hip," Makana said.

But the hearts are another matter.