While Sanders is grateful that her daughter, Marielle, isn't much into the shopping scene, she knows her daughter will soon be a full-fledged teenager. That could change everything, and the thought makes Sanders a tad nervous.

"So far, she still listens to mom and trusts what mom says," said Sanders, a project manager. "So far."

Sanders' concern isn't far-fetched, with many tweens and teens today obsessed with buying brand-name outfits — often high-priced and scanty pieces — to mimic celebrities they see in fashion magazines or to simply fit in with their peers at school. Especially at a time like this, when advertisements are ubiquitous and shopping spirits are high, what's a parent to do?

Experts say the gimme-gimmies are typical teenage behavior — but parents can set limits by modeling frugal spending habits.

Messages geared toward kids about how to dress and spend are everywhere. In a spread called "What's Your Fashion Sign?" in Seventeen magazine's latest issue, girls are encouraged to splurge on accessories like a $78 Coach wrist wallet. Shows like "It's Good to Be: Britney Spears" on E! and VH-1's "The Fabulous Life of: The Hilton Sisters" glamorizes the outrageous spending habits of the young pop icons, who each spend thousands on watches, dresses and extravagances such as diamond-encrusted collars for their pooches. Department stores such as Sears and Macy's create separate environments for their teen shoppers, with the latest trends on display.

Materialist messages

"American children are deeply enmeshed in the culture of getting and spending, and they are getting more so," wrote Schor, a professor of sociology at Boston College. "We find that the more enmeshed they are, the more they suffer for it."

In her book, Schor marshalls evidence that "commercial and materialist messages" in advertisements and pop culture lead to boredom and low self-esteem, and even anxiety and depression.

Honolulu licensed clinical psychologist Tammie Kim takes a less-critical view: She advises parents not to panic, and says it's normal for teens to want to model themselves after what they see around them, whether it's on television or at school.

"Kids are learning to find out who they are, what they're about and what their values are, so they're going to push the limits," Kim said. "But as the adults in their lives, we have to push back and let them know what that limit is."

Amy Isaak, 15, knows what hers is.

"We do have a pretty tight family budget," said Isaak's mother, Kim Coffee-Isaak, a single parent who works for a nonprofit agency. "I'm very proud of her. ... She's understanding of our situation."

Amy, an Iolani School sophomore, has shopping habits much like her mother's: She heads straight for the sales racks and revels in the rush of finding a great bargain.

"If I know I don't have enough money for something, then I won't buy it," the Makiki teen said, "or I might have the money in my wallet, but I'll think I could save if for something better later."

Defying the pressure

"My friends and I have our own sense of style," Amy said. "We don't really care about what we wear."

Amy's taste in clothing is definitely not Britney-inspired; she dresses in "laid-back" surfer- and skater-style threads by Tilt and Roxy.

While younger, Marielle Sanders, a fifth-grader at Wai'alae Elementary School, likes the same styles and feels similarly unmoved by pressure to dress in the hottest — and most expensive — brands.

"It's not really that important," Marielle said. "I think for myself."

Not every tween and teen is as impervious to influence by pop culture, advertising and teen pressure, however. Stores and manufacturers invest plenty of money into building fervor for their products with the expectation of making sales, and often parents are the only countervailing force against this encouragement to buy, buy, buy.

Teaching your child about values and responsible money management should begin in elementary school, said Joyce Kitay, a licensed psychologist who practices in downtown Honolulu.

Parents who live by their values will in turn set good examples for their children. "Sure, materialistic things are nice and make people happy, but tell them ... it's not the most important thing in the world," Kitay said.

Start lessons early

Parents should talk to their children early on about how much things cost, how much the family can afford and how to save, Kitay said. Children need to understand the family's income.

Sheila Sanders, the project manager from Honolulu, teaches her daughter about budget shopping.

"Generally, we try to watch for the sales or go to discount stores like Ross and (Nordstrom) Rack," Sanders said. Another huge money-saver is clothes-swapping with her circle of friends, who have daughters between 8 and 12 years old.

Sanders also gives Marielle an allowance of $10 a month for doing chores, to buy extra "wants" for herself.

"If she has the need for additional money, then she has an option to do work for her godparents, who'll give her jobs like cleaning up around their house," Sanders said.

Having tweens and teens work for their money — either through chores or a part-time job — is a great idea, Kim said.

"If the kid wants to work to earn the privileges and earn the money to be able to purchase things, they'll understand the value of the money," Kim said.