Posted on: Sunday, December 19, 2004
Nothing says happy holidays like a table saw
By Michael C. DeMattos
It is that time of year again, when good little boys and girls sit under twinkling lights knowing that the rewards of right living will be found under the tree come Christmas morning. I am not exactly sure which list I made this year, "naughty" or "nice," but I have my fingers crossed. If I am lucky enough to make the "nice" list, I am well prepared.
I have made my Christmas list and checked it twice, and one thing I can tell you is that it is really long. To make the list more manageable, I created a coding system, complete with subheadings.
In the "Too Expensive for Me to Afford" category, I have things like the Dewalt heavy-duty portable table saw with extended rip fence, as well as a golf vacation for two at the lovely Kapalua Resort on Maui.
Then there is the "If I Really Made the Nice List, These Items Should Surely Be Under the Tree" category, which includes items such as the two-horsepower Bosch router with fixed and plunge bases; a FootJoy microfiber golf vest; and "The Lord of the Rings" extended version, complete with Minas Tirith miniature.
Finally, there is the traditional "Stocking Stuffer" category, which lists items such as Stinger golf tees, Berkeley fishing line and a Jamba Juice gift certificate.
The coding system is nice, but I know that Santa likes those who are willing to go the extra mile, so I took full advantage of technology and enhanced my list with pictures. Not the old crayon drawings of my youth, but full-blown color images lifted directly from company home pages. I simply found the picture of the item I wanted, saved it to my hard drive and then added the image to my list. There should be no confusion this year.
But I didn't stop there. I am pretty sure that Santa is online, so I have my list, complete with Internet links, ready for e-mail. Once I find his address, I will simply press a button and, faster than you can say "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," my virtual list will be in his actual hand!
All of this, of course, is assuming that I made the "nice" list. But his list is not the only list in town. Just to be safe, I "accidentally" e-mailed Santa's list to my wife. A bit tacky, maybe; a tad manipulative, surely; effective, hopefully.
As you can see, I can stoop pretty low, but rest assured there are some things that even I wouldn't do. For over two years now, I have worked to develop a loyal following for this column. It was tough, the first few months, paying loved ones to call and write to the Advertiser, convincing them to keep the column alive, but that has all changed. My readership has expanded to include distant cousins and friends of friends. Even though I know that all the important people in my life with money will be reading this column, I am committed to the high road. I have a responsibility to maintain my image as a thoughtful, selfless and compassionate man. I would NEVER use this column for personal gain or really cool Christmas gifts.
Still, if the need arises and you want to fulfill a dad's Christmas wish, log on to my web page at www.deservingdad.com. Please note that this is a secure system, so credit card purchases are welcome. (Just kidding.)
Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.
