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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, December 20, 2004

Polish up etiquette on gifts at work

By Mary Ellen Slayter
Washington Post

WASHINGTON — Ruby pendant for mom — check.

Shoes for dad — check.

A copy of your favorite kid's book for your niece — check.

The holiday shopping list looks pretty good so far. Now, what are you getting your boss?

Almost half of us plan to give a holiday gift to at least one business associate this year, according to a poll conducted by Harris Interactive Inc. for Office Depot Inc. The survey also found that 90 percent of us are baffled about the etiquette associated with workplace gift-swapping.

We spend so much time with our co-workers, it's not surprising that we wonder if we should get them gifts. But what kinds of gifts? The expectations surrounding holiday giving vary so much from office to office that it is difficult to generalize.

However, here are some tips to help you indulge in the holiday spirit without running afoul of the law or good taste:

• Check the rules. Some organizations have regulations about what kinds of gifts their employees can give and receive. In government agencies, this can be a matter of law.

• Give to the group. Instead of individual gifts, give something everyone can enjoy. Food is generally well-received. The group approach can save money as well as the time it would take to wrap gifts

• Keep it secular. Not everyone is Christian, but people of all faiths will usually welcome a cheerful "Happy Holidays."

• Nix the "family newsletters." Even if year-in-the-life essays are your favorite holiday tradition, please don't send them to business associates. The contents of such letters usually are of interest to family members only.

• Forget about booze. What seems like a generous gift to you could be an unfortunate trigger for a recovering alcoholic or just plain useless to a nondrinker.

• Keep it modest. Remember, if half of us plan to give gifts, that means the other half do not. People should not feel guilty if they don't have the means or desire to reciprocate. The more expensive the gifts you dole out, the more likely you will make someone in your office uncomfortable.

• No knickknacks. Please. Most of us can barely see our desks as it is. The last thing we need is another coffee mug, paperweight, clock or pen-and-pencil set.

• Stick to what you know. Or rather, whom you know. If you have never met someone, don't feel compelled to give a holiday gift. There's nothing rude about limiting your generosity to your own department. This isn't kindergarten, and the good people in accounts receivable aren't going to cry because you didn't give them a toy.

• Be inclusive. Publicly anyway. If you plan to give gifts to only a few co-workers, do it outside work.

• Keep it clean. Do not consider gag gifts that rely on sexual innuendo or ethnic stereotypes to be funny. Do not give anything that could remotely be considered intimate.

• Be generous down the chain. Give your assistant or intern at least as nice a gift as the one you give your boss.