"It's a little difficult to get into the holiday spirit," Hammel said, adding that when talking with other spouses she realized they were feeling the same: excited about Christmas but sad. Remembering how much it meant to her to make the gingerbread houses as a child, she decided that this was something she could do for the children.

The scent of gingerbread and mulling spices greeted guests as they entered her home near Kalapawai Market in Kailua Tuesday afternoon. A morning rain had forced activities indoors but the bright red table clothes and beautifully decorated Christmas tree set the stage for fun.

Red and green M&Ms, marshmallows, candy canes, peppermint candy and an assortment of decorative candy sprinkles were available to dress up each house, along with pretzel stars, gingerbread men, frosted mini shredded wheat and Cheerios.

Children concentrated on their task, one candy on the house, one candy in the mouth.

The festive scene at Cari Hammel's home Tuesday has helped fill a void she has felt since Nov. 8 when her husband, Navy Lt. Jeremy Hammel, a doctor, above, deployed to Afghanistan with the Marines. Richard Ambo • The Honolulu Advertiser

"I want to put as much candy on as possible," said Molly Deener, 10, adding that she plans on eating the the whole thing.

Working next to her was her brother Jacob Deener, 6, whose mouth started to turn green from all the green sprinkles he ate and placed around his house, trying to give it a grassy lawn, he said. Both said the Christmas season has been good.

"I've been playing with my friends a lot since my dad's been gone," Molly Deener said. "Jacob said all he wants for Christmas is Dad."

Dad, a Marine, calls home regularly and e-mails them daily, and the children have sent two boxes filled with things like canned goods, Kleenex and other "stuff" he needs, she said.

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer made a special appearance at the party and handed out party favors, but Kyle Meaders, 5 1/2 wasn't fooled. "That's a bear with a balloon nose," Kyle said.

When asked if he wanted to have a yellow ribbon on his house, Kyle said yes, saying he's seen the ribbons on cars and they're put there "so Daddy comes home."

Joey Meaders, Kyle's mother, said she keeps busy with her two boys but the emotions of the holiday season were catching up with her as she choked back tears. Fortunately for Joey, her mother is spending the holidays with her as her Navy husband serves in Afghanistan.

The boys want their father home and like some of the other younger children at the party, Corbin, Joey's 2-year-old son, doesn't really understand why his dad is gone, she said.

"Kyle kind of understands he's over there, but he doesn't understand why he can't come home," Joey said.

Likewise, Maria Axtman, whose Navy husband is in Afghanistan, says her 4-year-old boy is especially affected by the separation but her 2-year-old daughter just thinks daddy is at work.

Axtman said the party may be a tradition she could adopt in her home. Her parents also are in Hawai'i for the holidays, and she admits it would be rough without them.

"It doesn't feel like the holidays," Axtman said, "but I think this definitely helps."

Mollie Anderson, whose Navy husband is in Hawai'i, said she understands the need for get-togethers for families of deployed soldiers and she was there with her children to lend her support.

It's a time for people to talk and bolster morale as well as make a connection with women facing the same situation, said Anderson, who has been married for 16 years and survived many deployments. Too many couples end up in a divorce because women can't cope, she said.

"I think this is what they need," Anderson said, "because some women feel their husbands shouldn't be over there ... but somebody has to fight for freedom."