By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

Wait a minute. Haven't they been telling us that money is tight?

Haven't we been told for years that the City and County of Honolulu is facing "austere budget times"? That city fees and property taxes would have to be raised just to keep basic city services going?

Yet here they are, our city leaders, pleading poverty while spending money on coffee-table books, brass plaques and movies on the beach in the middle of December — and what's this about the city's marching-band leader getting $100,000 a year?

It's like signing up for welfare while somehow finding the money for big-screen TVs and deluxe cable service — except in this case, we're the ones providing handouts and city government is on our dole. Books? Movies? Plaques? Marching band? We thought you folks said you were having a hard time. We thought it was all Spamburgers and ketchup soup down there.

Now, adding their voices of entitlement to the fray, some members of the Royal Hawaiian Band, the only full-time band in the country paid for by municipal taxpayers, say they don't like how they've been treated.

They've been micromanaged. They don't like their music selection. They get hot having to play sitting in the sun.

Yeah, and there are untold numbers of frustrated artists having to scrape out a living at day jobs they hate. These musicians get to be full-time musicians, at union scale, on our dime. They should sit in the sun, play the same old songs, get micromanaged and be glad for it all.

And further more, if we're in austere budget times, why do we need a city band anyway? Isn't this an expense that private donors, trusts set up to support the arts and fund-raising concerts should pay for?

Put down the flugle horn and pick up a car-wash sponge.

The City Council and newly elected mayor have a grand opportunity to return practicality to Honolulu Hale. There are critical services to pay for. Never mind entertaining us. Never mind spending wildly on vain attempts to create the illusion of a legacy and attach the title "visionary" to your name. City government is about police, fire, potholes, beach bathrooms and trash pickup. If done well, it is mundane.

Elected officials don't need to publish books or put up plaques with their names on them. If they do a good job, the people will sing their praises for being both visionary and so darn humble.

An abandoned car was finally removed from my neighborhood this week after months of festering by the side of the road. I checked to see if there was a brass plaque in its place that read, "This abandoned car removed and the aesthetics of the neighborhood restored by Mayor Jeremy Harris, December 2004."

Not yet, but he still has a few days left to spend our money.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.