FAMILY MATTERS
Book fans see their personal stories intertwining
By Michael C. DeMattos
I am a member of a reading group.
There, I said it! I feel lighter already.
It actually started three years ago on the cusp of the release of "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring." I had always been a rabid fan of the books, but I had several friends who had never read them. My wife and I decided to host a reading group to prepare them for the movies' releases over the course of three successive years.
Each September the group would stoke the fires and crack open the tomes to walk through Middle Earth for a spell.
Now, I love a good tale, but reading has always been a bit of a solitary act for me. I usually retire to the most private room in the house, lovingly referred to as my second office. Thanks to years of reading, I turn pages at a pretty good clip and can often finish a few chapters before one of my legs falls asleep or my daughter barges through the door asking if I am done yet.
Hey, that is no easy feat.
Still, the importance of these books was such that I felt I had to share them. I could no longer be a water-closet bibliophile.
After the final chapter closed on our little book club in December, I was surprised to find that I missed the group. The books were still there, of course, penned in my soul, but the people were gone.
While the books were always at the center of the discussion, we had become the reason for meeting. The books were merely vehicles, points of discourse through which the world and a bit beyond the world was revealed. We enjoyed the company and, for two nights a month, became part of each other's story.
We decided that the book club would have to continue. It was important to each of us. And while none of us are particularly damaged, the group is healing.
Whether triumphant or tragic, in stories we find a salve for the years. By reading about others, we learn to live storied lives ourselves. We are not just victims of circumstance, but participants in a fully lived life. At the very least, storied living offers a reprieve from the mundane day-to-day details of our age. At best, it is an opportunity to make decisions and choices that enrich and further our own tale.
Our book club is not a self-help group, though it definitely helps us cope with a crazy world. We do not stick to happy-go-lucky, everybody-wins-in-the-end stories, yet we feel pretty good about our chances, thanks to a cleverly written yarn.
We sometimes read about imaginary people from fantastic places, while at the same time becoming more real with each other.
In the end, it is not about the book — it is about the reader. Sometimes, with a trusting circle of friends, you find that the ordinary life you have been living has been pretty extraordinary after all.
Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.
