Hazards of office romances multiply in small firms
By Joyce M. Rosenberg
Associated Press
NEW YORK — It's one of the most sensitive situations a business owner can face: two employees involved in a romantic relationship. It can be especially difficult in a small company with few workers.
Associated Press
Many people caution against office romances because such alliances can lead to discomfort for other employees who don't want to see public displays of affection. They can also create a tense atmosphere if the couple is having a fight or the relationship ends badly. At the extreme, especially if the relationship involves a supervisor and a subordinate, it can mean sexual harassment charges.
Julie Swenson, owner of Abbas Public Relations Ltd. in Minneapolis, counsels against office romances. Swenson once was engaged to the son of a client.
Professionals who advise companies on employment matters say the owner, upon learning of the relationship, needs to talk to the couple.
"You should immediately meet with those people and set some guidelines for appropriate workplace behavior," said Arlene Vernon, a human resources consultant in Eden Prairie, Minn. "You need to tell them, 'This is not your place for any of the fooling around that might go on — sneaking hand-holdings, hugging in the corner, passing little notes.' "
But you shouldn't try to forbid the couple from having the relationship.
As lawyer John Robinson puts it, "You can't stop biology."
And Vernon said that trying to force an end to a relationship can create an unpleasant atmosphere for everyone, including other employees who wouldn't want similar interference in their personal lives.
She suggests telling the couple, "I'm glad you met and that things are going well, but this is what I expect in the workplace."
Robinson, senior employment lawyer with Fowler White Boggs Banker in Tampa, Fla., said owners should also set expectations for the couple in the event of a breakup. He recommended telling them, "If this ever becomes a situation where one or the other of you becomes uncomfortable with it, we want to know about it so we can take action to continue with you and the company being successful."
Even when a relationship goes well, chances are the business will be affected at some point.
At Hollywood, Fla.-based firm O'Connell & Goldberg Public Relations, two employees kept their relationship a secret for quite some time from their co-workers and bosses, and they remained circumspect even after it became public. It didn't cause any outward problems.
But after the couple married, and decided to move away, it meant the company lost two employees, a big deficit in a 14-person firm.
"We had to lose two good people because of marital reasons," co-owner Barbara Goldberg said.
Goldberg's other complaint was having been kept in the dark.
"I would have liked to have known about it before I found out," she said.
But that can be difficult, especially when a couple is trying to preserve their privacy.
A potentially serious situation is when one of the employees involved is in a supervisory position. That can raise concerns about preferential treatment. If the subordinate/lover gets better pay, benefits or assignments than co-workers, it can breed resentment.
And when such a couple breaks up, Robinson said, "you can see a lot of sudden charges of abuse or harassment."
As with many other business situations, owners dealing with office romances might want to consider getting advice from an expert.
