Husband soldiers on with wife gone in Iraq
By Karen Blakeman
Advertiser Staff Writer
Angela Reber was in ROTC when Jason Reber, now a Honolulu engineer, met her at Iowa State University.
Advertiser library photo • Jan. 27, 2004 Jason Reber photo
"She joined the Army when she was 17," he said, "following in her brothers' footsteps."
First Lt. Angela Reber of the 25th Infantry Division (Light) walks across a dusty plain at Camp Virginia, Kuwait. Reber's husband, Jason, saw the photograph, which ran in the Jan. 29 Honolulu Advertiser. Seeing her in the newspaper, he said, made him "kind of proud, and happy."
Jason and Angela Reber, both 24, got married in April. He joined her in Hawai'i in May, and by January, the two were separated by war: Jason is an engineer in Honolulu; Angela's an Army officer serving in Iraq.
Jason knew what he was getting into when he fell in love and married a soldier. He was prepared.
"It didn't scare me off," he said.
But Angela's military service didn't make life easy, either.
Jason and Angela Reber, both 24 years old, were married in April. He joined her in Hawai'i in May. By the time he found a job and the newlyweds got their household set up, their first holidays together were coming up, and Angela was preparing to deploy to Iraq.
"She spent part of Thanksgiving being sick because of the shots they give you before you go," he said. "It was kind of a joke; they give you a four-day weekend to be sick."
Angela, a first lieutenant serving with the 25th Infantry Division (Light), left for Iraq early this year. One of the three brothers she followed into the Army is also there, although, Jason thinks, not close enough for visits. A second brother will be deploying to Iraq soon.
"She actually wanted to go on the deployment," Jason said. "I think she would have done anything (to go)."
Angela, a Russian and political-science major, knew she could be of use to her fellow soldiers. Jason supported his wife's decision to pursue the deployment. He is proud of her service.
Still, there are difficult moments adjusting to life in a new place without his wife. Even the dog, Bella, is still in quarantine, he said.
The day he saw Angela off was tough.
"It was sad. I knew I would have to be without my wife for — 13 months? Fourteen? It was all up in the air."
He prayed for strength, he said, and found it. Often, it came to him in the presence of other people.
"Friends from church ... people I work with, friends I've met along the way — they help me out," he said.
The Army's "Family Readiness Group" not only helps to keep him and the spouses of other soldiers who deployed with Angela informed, he said, it offers friendship, outings and purpose.
"They've worked hard to find daycare for a lot of the moms out there who are home alone all the time with their children," he said.
He said he helps with the fund-raising, and does volunteer tutoring for military families as well.
"I know there is somebody missing at home," he said.
Seeing the difficulties faced by military families with children has made him think about what will happen when he and Angela decide to have kids.
"She might get out," he said. "Depending on what her opportunities are. Or, I may be raising the children."
He and Angela stay in touch, mostly through letters at this point, he said, and a couple of phone calls. She hasn't had much access to computers so he hasn't seen any photos from the new digital camera he bought for her to take to Iraq.
"I knew if I could see her," he said, "I'd feel a lot better about it."
Sometimes, he said, things go bad for no particular reason. The last time it happened, he had been playing golf.
"It was a nice day," he said. "And then I came home — to nothing."
On days like that, he said, he calls his mother, or an old friend.
"I just say, 'Hey, I'm sad,' " he said. "I don't know — they understand."
A few days ago, his phone started ringing. The calls were from Family Readiness Group members, calling to say they had spotted Angela's photograph in the newspaper. A photographer deployed to Iraq had taken it.
"She was walking across the desert," he said, "and, well, all soldiers kind of look alike from a distance, but I guess that is the point, isn't it?"
Seeing her made him feel better.
"Kind of proud, and happy," he said.
Reach Karen Blakeman at 535-2430 or kblakeman@honoluluadvertiser.com.
