Addict's family crumbled beneath ice's grip
| • | Drug addiction keeps women's prison filled |
| • | Ice sent woman's life into free fall |
By Johnny Brannon
Advertiser Staff Writer
Raymond Mathewson got married just about the time a friend introduced him to ice. It proved to be a terrible combination that led to years of spousal abuse, divorce, and a prison sentence.
Eugene Tanner • The Honolulu Advertiser
"I was physically abusive, mentally abusive, verbally abusive, financially abusive," said Mathewson, 42, of Nanakuli. "I don't know why I didn't realize it. I loved my ex-wife so much. She was so supportive for me. She was there for me, and she really didn't deserve what I put her through."
Raymond Mathewson, reading in his room at the Laumaka Work Furlough Center, says he has learned about drug addiction and domestic violence in treatment and rehabilitation programs and now understands his problems.
It's a situation many Hawai'i families find themselves in when members become addicted to ice and other drugs. Reality gets distorted, priorities are turned upside down and tempers run hot. And all too often, women are the ones victimized.
In Mathewson's case, the warning signs were everywhere. Violated restraining orders, slaps, threats, short jail terms. And more and more ice.
He worked hard as a journeyman mason through most of his addiction and says he never robbed or stole from anyone to support his habit. But that doesn't make it right.
"I was using the majority of that money for the drugs," Mathewson said. "It was supposed to be for my family. We could have had a house by now."
The couple had three children, but the marriage crumbled. After the divorce, he wouldn't let go of the relationship.
He was finally sent to prison after assaulting a male friend of his ex-wife and threatening him with a gun.
"I thought I didn't have a drug problem, because I wasn't charged with drugs," he said. "Now, I realize I had a major problem. I probably would be dead if I nevah do this time."
Mathewson learned about addiction and domestic violence in prison treatment and rehabilitation programs. He says he understands his problems now.
"I was sick of using ice before I came in, but I didn't know how to stop," he said. "The only way I got help because of my hard head and stubbornness was coming to prison."
Locked up, he also learned how widespread the ice epidemic has become.
"I talk with people from all over, and they tell me the same stories," he said. "It's like the whole island is corrupted."
As he nears his parole date, Mathewson is able to work outside prison and return to custody to sleep, while continuing with counseling. Nanakuli is different now, he said.
"I've seen a lot of changes. Friends and families losing their homes, people living on the beach," he said. "I see a lot of people lose their kids to (Child Protective Services). It's really sad."
His goal now, he said, is to stay clean and be a father to his kids. But he knows his marriage is over.
"I'm happy that she's happy, and I'm happy that I can accept that," he said.
Reach Johnny Brannon at jbrannon@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8070.
