High cost of aging catches many off guard

By Mike Glover
Associated Press

•	On the Web: AARP: www.aarp.org The National Council on the Aging: www.ncoa.org

She grew up in a neat, frame house on the west fringe of Des Moines and left in 1970 to make her own way. She raised a family, made a life of her own in Hawai'i and figured that her later years would find her there, with her children and grandchildren.

But her mother's death from cancer brought her back to the little house in Des Moines to care for an elderly, blind father who was becoming increasingly frail, plagued by arthritis and heart problems.

One of the biggest health issues facing America's aging population is not planning for the potential of a healthcare crisis and being forced to make decisions about long-term care on the fly.

"It's the story of my life," Johnson said.

She had often questioned her parents about their plans for the future and was assured that she needn't worry.

"I was thinking that everything was fine, that they were set up for the future," she said. "Whenever I asked about finances, they said everything was fine and it was none of my business."

"I thought this was going to be a piece of cake," she said.

What she found when she returned from Hawai'i was a nasty surprise.

Her parents' savings had dwindled from $70,000 a decade earlier to about $2,000, the same amount her father owed in property taxes, after dipping into the savings to care for her mother.

The lack of plans for care during their frail elderly years is a growing problem for a population that is living far longer than in the past, said Mark Haverland, head of the Department of Elder Affairs.

"We're in huge denial about this," said Haverland. "People tend to age without making plans."

The cost of a nursing home typically runs from $25,000 to $40,000 per year, while home care is estimated to cost $12,000 to $15,000 per year.

Information about long-term care options is fragmented.

"People have historically found that issue perplexing, so they don't really address it until they are faced with a crisis, such as when your spouse, your mother, or your grandmother needs long-term care," said Scott Parkin, a spokesman for The National Council on the Aging. "All of a sudden, what do you do?"

Johnson's father, John Reinhard, was a publisher's representative and has been legally blind for 20 years. His wife drove him to meet clients, and the two were inseparable.

"She was his lifeline," Johnson said.

Seven years ago, her mother was diagnosed with cancer and her condition deteriorated rapidly.

"I talked to her on Friday and she was dead on Wednesday," Johnson said.

Feeling alone and isolated, her father struggled.

"He'd call me a lot, two or three times a day," she said. "I could tell he was lonely."

A divorced mother of two, Johnson was forced to make a decision. A younger sister had young children and couldn't be a caretaker.

Her brother, who now lives with the family in Des Moines, didn't fit the bill, either.

"It sort of fell to me," she said.

She gave up her $30,000-a-year job as a YMCA preschool coordinator and moved back home, her 22-year-old daughter in tow, to take on the full-time responsibilities. Her son stayed behind at the University of Hawai'i.

With the financial settlement from her divorce, and a severely reduced pension because she left her job early, Johnson struggles daily to make ends meet for the family and more importantly, for her 85-year-old father. She chose not to put him into an assisted living community.

"I just want to try to make things comfortable for him," she said. "Being home is the best thing for my dad."

Last month, her father fell and broke his hip. He had surgery and is recuperating at a hospital.

Johnson had planned to attend a family get-together in Las Vegas for the holidays, but she was forced to stay behind to care for her father. It would have been the first time she'd meet two of her three grandchildren, but that will have to come another day, she said.

There is a silver lining, however. Not only has she renewed her bonds with her father, the experience has awakened her to her own future.

"I think it's a lesson for my kids," said Johnson. "It makes me think about what's going to happen to me when I get older. It's something we've talked about."