LOVE STORIES
Celebrating 70 years of love, together
By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Staff Writer
You know the part in the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where the couples sit on the sofa and talk about falling in love?
Elva and Paul Elsner could have walked right off the screen.
Picture white-haired Elva, still elegant at 88, sitting there remembering herself at 15, falling in love.
"It happened when I was in high school," she recalls. "He was older. We started going together. We got married after I graduated from high school."
It was a big wedding in Santa Ana, Calif., and her father was the minister. The pair said their vows on June 29, 1934. She remembers being 18 and not knowing how to cook. Paul had just turned 21 two days before the wedding. The marriage was one of their first steps in growing up.
Last week, they had a dual celebration at their ranch in Ahualoa on the Big Island to mark their 70th anniversary and Paul's 91st birthday. It wasn't as big of a party as their 50th anniversary at Honolulu's Elks Club, but they were bursting with just as much joy.
"We've had a wonderful life," Paul said. "I've been in love with her every day I've been with her."
They met when Paul was working for an evangelist, John Brown, and was in charge of the music. When they held an event in Santa Ana, Paul invited all the ministers in town and the octet from the high school.
Elva was in the front row. Paul sent word to her that he'd like to take her out that night. She said she couldn't because she was with her father. So Paul invited him, too.
The first date led to many others.
The years multiplied, and they survived good times, tight times and lots of in-betweens. The first house they built was in Riverside, Calif. They paid $16 a month for the house, $6 a month for the car, and had about 50 cents left over.
They had three children, and moved to Hawai'i in 1958. Paul was a hairstylist for the Royal Hawaiian Hotel, where Elva says he was a favorite of stars such as Ava Gardner. He eventually built and owned 17 beauty salons in the Islands. Elva became a minister at Unity Church and used to ring the chimes at noon in Waikiki. She estimates she has presided over thousands of Japanese weddings. (Weddings are a big thing in the Elsner family. Her son now presides over nuptials in Las Vegas.)
When they lived on O'ahu, friends would come over to play music. Paul played the trumpet and Elva was a vocalist. (Their children followed in their footsteps in this regard, too. Their two daughters were known as The Elsner Sisters, backup singers for Don Ho.)
Daughter Pamela Elsner, 61, will always think of her parents when she hears "Apple Blossom," their song.
"I've never had a relationship like theirs," she said. "They kiss goodnight every night and good morning every morning."
The pace of life has changed since they retired to the Big Island in 1990, where they learned about growing macadamia nuts. Paul has a doctorate in the science of personology (face reading) and still works with children to help them find their talents and improve their learning skills. Elva plays the organ at church.
Elva credits a sense of humor, having more than one bathroom, enjoying music together and "good old grit" as the secrets to a long and happy marriage.
"He still calls me 'honey,' and he still kisses me every day," she said. "I think telling each other you love each other every day is important. We have managed to get through some trials and tribulations."
Paul says the secret is to never have any doubt that you'll love your partner every day of your life.
"I've been true to her," he said. "And I love her today more than the day that I met her."
Tanya Bricking Leach writes about relationships. If you'd like her to tell your love story next, send the details to tbricking@honoluluadvertiser.com, call 525-8026 or mail your photo and background information to Love Stories, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802.
