Resist urge to jam-pack vacation

By Susan Felt
Arizona Republic

The Perkinses of Arizona head for their Maui vacation, where they planned to make downtime for mom, Angie, center, a priority. Gannett News Service Here are five tips for balancing relaxation, quality time, sightseeing Don't overplan when it comes to sightseeing and other activities. Otherwise, you might wind up with no downtime — and your vacation could turn out to be as busy as your workday. Research your destination so you can identify what sights, activities and events are available. Prioritize what you want to do. Remember, this isn't a contest to see the most you can see, unless that's the kind of vacation you want. Think downtime. Allow for fatigue. If you're traveling a long distance, consider not scheduling anything on arrival and departure days. Investigate prepaid vouchers that secure tours, especially if you're traveling to foreign countries and are unsure of language. The vouchers offer flexibility to schedule a tour within 24 hours of arrival. — Arizona Republic

"We had booked tours in advance, and when we got there, we found we only had one day free," Len Gorski says. "We learned the hard way."

Since then, they've realized what they need from a vacation: more time — 10 days works best, two weeks is too hard to get away — and no pre-booked tours.

Striking a balance between today's go-go-go, hypertasking tendencies and the rest and relaxation that bodies and minds crave is tough, even on vacation.

"We pack activity in every moment of our days," says life coach Marcia Reynolds. "The idea that we can undo that when we're on vacation is unrealistic. It has to be a conscious decision.

"We have this tendency that we have to do all the things in the (tour) books. We equate doing nothing with laziness, but it isn't laziness; it's just that — doing nothing."

Couple the inclination to do everything the tour books suggest with the motivation to get your money's worth, and you can wind up exhausted, Reynolds says.

She suggests you remind yourself before going on a trip about the reasons you're taking the vacation. If it's for some major unwinding, you'll need a plan.

Relaxing can be difficult, Reynolds says, especially during the first couple of days of vacation, when decompressing and having nothing to do but enjoy themselves can make people feel nervous.

When Reynolds works with couples or families headed for vacation, she has everyone write about his or her perfect vacation day and the three most important things they want to do. By the time the vacationers are on their way, all are assured of doing at least the top two things on their lists. "The expectations are set before you leave," she says.

"What wrecks vacations is everybody gets frustrated, disappointed and angry because you didn't set out the vision of what you wanted to do before."

Angie and Mark Perkins and their three teenage children headed on a one-week vacation earlier this month with a key expectation established: Mom gets downtime. It is the first vacation the Arizona family has taken on its own, without family or friends.

"Last summer was my breaking point," Angie says. "We had overscheduled our summer." Her 14-year-old son and 12-year-old twin girls were spread thin, but not as much as she was.

"There was a lot of fighting, lot of nitpicking, lot of emotions. We were rushing at the last minute, we were forgetting things, and at the end of the summer I knew something has got to change."

This year, the five Perkinses' vacation goal was to have some family time together. And each day will include at least an hour of downtime for mom.

After a lot of research online and talking with people who've lived or traveled in Hawai'i, the Perkinses picked Maui. For a week, they rented a condo by the beach with a pool and a fitness center — two of their requirements.

Life coach Reynolds cautions against overprogramming, especially on European trips. "It's, like, six countries in two days," she says.

She encourages her clients to guard against the more-is-better urge and think smaller. "I do one country at a time," she says.

Stay in one place and explore for depth rather than breadth. You don't want a blur of memories, "like saying, 'Here's the Grand Canyon,' and marking it off the list like there's some competition of how many pictures you can take," she says.