Cutting words on razors
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By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Staff Writer
It must have been sixth grade, when all the other girls were shaving their legs, that I had my first showdown with a razor.
In all my years of shaving since, I've nicked myself occasionally, but things never got as bad as they are in the Intuition razor commercial.
You know the one. A woman is in her bathtub shaving, when a bar of soap flies out of her hand. Then another woman accidentally squirts shaving cream in her own face (yeah, that happens all the time), and the next woman keeps losing her balance trying to shave her legs over the bathroom sink.
That's supposed to make me think I need a razor that comes with shaving cream built in? How does shaving and a little coordination equal "trust your Intuition"?
And when did the drugstore razor aisle get so complicated, anyway?
Not until I became the household buyer of razorblades did I realize just how cutthroat the competition is.
I thought I was buying the right ones for my husband the triple-blade kind that says "Turbo" on the package.
Then I see not just the multiblade, but something even more intimidating: the four-blade Quattro. Does the quantity of blades make for a smoother, closer, higher-quality shave? How many blades is too many?
Then there's a battery-powered razor that vibrates. Is that really a good idea? Something sharp that pulsates? I'm such a sucker, I buy one anyway. (Guys, it's supposed to make your whiskers stand on end so you don't wind up with 5 o'clock shadow.)
Batteries? Quadruple blades? Conditioning strips? Pivoting heads? Handle grips? Pink? Race-car red?
No wonder the razor industry is a $6 billion business. There are nearly as many razor choices as there are stubbly hairs. And those marketers are really good at shaving away our pocket change.
Enough forces are coming together to get me all lathered up about it.
It's not just shaving technology I have to contend with. It's technique. And to be blunt, I'm not sure I even know how to shave correctly.
That time in sixth grade, I pretty much guessed on how it was done, and my shaving process hasn't changed all that much ever since.
I've noticed the grooming gurus on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" know a lot more about this than I do.
They chide men who shave "against the grain" of their facial hair. I wonder if that means I've been shaving my legs in the wrong direction all these years?
Not to worry. Somewhere out there, a razor manufacturer probably already has thought of that.
There should be a new disposable razor on the market any time now. It will teach women how to shave their legs backwards. Or balancing on the sink, listening to Jewel and following their throwaway Intuition.
Tanya Bricking Leach writes about relationships. Reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org or 525-8026.