So put your brain in the freezer — a cooler will do fine, too, but be careful not to place the six-pack on top of the cerebrum, it bruises — and let this random sampling of stressless cable reality shows wash over you. (Please remember to shake the sand from your plasma screen before leaving the beach.)

'Outback Jack'
TBS, new episodes Tuesdays, 8 p.m.

"The Bachelor" meets "Survivor" — with makeup. Producer Bruce Nash, who already has spun "For Love or Money" from "The Bachelor" prototype, twists it again by dropping 12 pampered dolls into the Outback (bush country, not the steak house) to compete for Aussie hunk Jack.

Fun factor: These spoiled princesses won't beat Paris Hilton in the entitlement derby, but it's always fun to see fresh faces get dirtied. And the never-ending twists could make for a drinking game.

Who's watching: Women who enjoy watching a handsome, rugged guy, and men with a taste for "eye candy," as Nash puts it. "We've got a wonderful cast." Translation: They're hot and like to fight.

The circle of life: After participating in a ceremony with aborigines, one ingenue offered these words of wisdom: "Going from Louisville, Ky., to aboriginal culture was a 360 from what I'm used to."

Tenuous beach tie-in: The competition ends at the shore, where Jack will sail off with the winning lady.

'Scream Play'
E! , Wednesdays, 10 p.m.

It's pitched as "Fear Factor" for the cinephile, although it comes off more as box-office gross: Contestants act out stunts based on famous scenes. With "Fear Factor" alum Joel Klein calling the shots, the crass stunts get top billing.

Fun factor: "There's a nostalgia factor because of the movies," E!'s Lisa Berger says, "and viewers get to live vicariously through the people performing the stunts." Or not, as when it came to getting hit with raw beef sprayed from a wood chipper, in a tribute to "Fargo."

Who's watching: Young males. You were expecting the "Cahiers du Cinema" crowd?

A defining moment: During a re-creation of the "Revenge of the Nerds" tricycle race, contestants must drink fish-gut milkshakes and be rolled in a barrel. One conscientious woman asks: "Are we allowed to throw up?"

Actual beach tie-in: There's a "Baywatch" stunt planned on the California coast as part of E!'s Blonde Week (Aug. 1). Also, for a network that lost gravitas when Joan and Melissa Rivers departed, the entire E! schedule is just beachy.

'Joe Schmo 2'
Spike TV, Mondays, 8:05 p.m.

This elaborate hoax show parodies the reality conventions of "The Bachelor," "Survivor" and the rest by creating its own fake reality show: Everyone involved is an actor save for the poor mark, Joe, who thinks he's in a romance game. For this second installment, they added a Jane.

Fun factor: Jane has a brain; who knew? Ingrid Wiese, the show's Jane Schmo, so quickly sniffed out the hoax — could it have been the "fellow contestant" who said her agent had sent her to the show? — that she was comparing the staged "Last Chance for Love" to "The Truman Show" in the first episode. Producers had to let her in on the secret to keep her from alerting unsuspecting Joe, and then hustle in a new Jane.

Who's watching: a) People who like reality shows. b) People who like to make fun of reality shows. c) People who like sexual innuendo. d) All of the above — i.e., men.

An absurd moment: When the show's "falcon," Montecore — which is, strictly speaking, a hawk — flies beak-first into a plate-glass window. (He isn't hurt, though surely embarrassed.) But wait: The bird's namesake is the white tiger that mauled Vegas showman Roy Horn.

Satisfying moments: Watching the producers sweat as Ingrid deduces their scam. "I like being on TV as much as I like having my fingernails ripped out," executive producer Scott Stone says.

Tenuous beach tie-in: No sand in sight, but there's plenty of hot tub and pool time. They bury a bikinied model in mashed potatoes, which might look like sand if you squint.

A fan of "Rocky" re-enacts a fight scene from the movie as "Into Character" gives ordinary folk a chance to be their film heroes. AMC

Fans get a chance to be their favorite celluloid heroes — including Rocky, the Blues Brothers and even the cheerleaders from "Bring It On" — in their classic scenes.

Fun factor: A mix of favorite movies, behind-the-scenes preparation and wish fulfillment. "To see someone with an intense fantasy incubating in their minds and then have it come true is thrilling," show creator Riaz Patel says.

Who's watching: Movie lovers and Rocky wannabes.

A proud moment: Patel remembers the excitement of seeing Blues Brothers impersonators meeting blues great Buddy Guy in a Chicago nightclub.

And questionable ones: People re-creating "Breakin' 2," "Ice Castles," "Xanadu."

Cool beach tie-in: The season finale will feature an Ivy League grad from the Northeast learning to ride the waves in Hawai'i for a scene from "Blue Crush."

'Bridezillas'
WE: Women's Entertainment, Mondays, 7 p.m.

As wedding day approaches, decent, ordinary women — with the occasional whiff of Manhattan professional entitlement — turn into take-no-prisoners monsters to make sure their day is perfect. Or else.

"This is about brides who dress in white and go red in the face," executive producer David Green says.

Fun factor: It's a Rorschach test. If you're a woman, you can relate to or feel superior to the rampaging bride. If you're a man, you can relate to or feel sorry for the cowed groom. "At the end of the day, the audience laughs with these girls, not at them," Green says. That's a nice thought.

Who's watching: Comedy, melodrama, horror fans. Maybe the brides' lawyers.

A defining moment: "Hours before the ceremony, one woman decided her dress wasn't right. She took scissors and cut it up. It made it 10 times worse," Green says.

Actual, if momentary, beach tie-in: One wedding takes place on the water.

'Blind Date'
Spike, Tuesday-Friday, 10 and 10:30 p.m.; also syndicated, check local listings

The granddaddy — or perhaps funny uncle — of reality dating shows.

"In all the previous dating shows, nobody saw the date," host Roger Lodge says, explaining the success of "Date." It's a survivor, too, coming back for its sixth season in the Darwinian world of dating syndication.

Fun factors: 1) The horrible matches ("Our dates from hell are our most popular dates," Lodge says.) 2) The pop-up commentaries, especially from pipe-smoking Therapist Joe. 3) The satisfaction of seeing somebody have a worse dating experience than you.

Who's watching: Night owls, at the beach and elsewhere. "When guys are coming back from bars late at night, and Bambi the stripper is taking her top off in the hot tub, they're going to stop on that scene for a couple of minutes," Lodge says.

A defining moment: The on-screen head-butt count for a geek who kept trying to go in for the kiss, alienating his date and missing an opportunity to actually get one.

And one for the host: The happily married Lodge doesn't see the show's daters, but he has run into them in real life. Recently, he says, "a woman walked up to me in the produce department and said she was Ashley the Toe Sucker from an episode of 'Blind Date.' " His reaction? "I sprinted out of the grocery store."