ABOUT WOMEN
Registry is just bridal fantasy

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

I thought it was a joke.

Why would she want a cheese grater? For a wedding gift? It didn't make sense.

"Maybe she doesn't have one," responded my very optimistic girlfriend.

"But couldn't she buy one?" I threw back. "It's just $5.99."

Didn't I have a point?

Either this bride-to-be lived with roommates who always had one — or she still lived at home.

It's hard to believe this couple didn't have a cheese grater — or a garlic press, hand towels or a soap dish.

Half of the list I had, the other half I didn't want.

No one really needs a set of cheese knives. Matching towels I get. But a collection of heart-shaped vases is completely impractical.

I've never been into gift registries. I don't get the concept of telling people what to buy me as a gift, which is technically something that's given and not something that's recommended.

I realize how easy it makes the whole gift-giving process, especially when you've never seen the inside of the couple's home.

But registries are more like glorified wish-lists for brides.

Look at the items on the list: linens, hand towels, a three-tier cake server. Name one groom who would want any of those things. Even the most metrosexual guy wouldn't request a soup tureen.

Of course, these aren't for us, really. I mean, not just us. Men reap the benefits, too.

A waffle iron makes waffles, which men eat, for example. The hand towels, we all know, will someday catch motor oil dripping from the car.

If we just admitted the registry was for the brides, the list might look a little different: spa weekend getaway, an extensive collection of Manolo Blahnik shoes and an entire home makeover by hot designer Nate Berkus (sans shirt).

Men, on the other hand, want guy stuff. A 42-inch plasma TV, a gas grill, a pool table, according to a recent survey by Sears, Roebuck and Co.

If you're going to ask for gifts, why not go all the way? I could use a 15-inch Powerbook G4, new running shoes and another 9-foot longboard thruster.

And so could many women I know.

Because, honestly, most of us have everything else. Our cabinets are overflowing with Tupperware, our bathrooms well stocked with fluffy bath towels.

I'm on the brink of 30. I'm old enough to already own forks and practical enough not to need a crystal candy dish.

So when Home Depot launched its gift registry in March, the company wasn't necessarily targeting just men.

Yes, most of its customers are men. And yes, most of its 9,000 items online are fully powered by testosterone. But I know a few women who would schedule a wedding just for the barbecue grill and solid-wood kitchen cabinets.

We just wouldn't ask for it.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at 535-8103 or ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.