Posted on: Wednesday, July 21, 2004

OUR HONOLULU
Without TV, life isn't the same

By Bob Krauss
Advertiser Columnist

For two weeks, I have existed on a planet other than Earth. My television went on the blink. Suddenly I sat before a field of snow; no sound, no color, no commercials, just silence. It was eerie. For a moment, I felt panic.

I pulled myself together. After all, the telephone still worked. I could look out of the window and see the lights of Honolulu spread out below my condo. There was food for several days in the refrigerator. Not having a television set might be drastic but not fatal. Somebody might even make a "Survivor" show out of the experience.

Calming down gave me the opportunity to think. I thought about all the dull, inane, painfully boring TV shows I've seen in my life. The more channels you have, the harder it is to find an interesting program.

Creativity on television is in inverse proportion to the variety of programs. I'm not a physicist but I think this has something to do with black holes. The centrifugal force of TV ratings sucks all programs into the black hole of sameness.

Take the History Channel. I enjoy history because there is so much of it around every corner and where you least expect to find it. I even gave a course at the UH Summer School on "How to Make History Fun."

So I had high hopes for the History Channel. In the beginning it should have been called the British History Channel because all the documentaries were BBC reruns. Not bad but after three viewings of the archaeology of Roman Legion outposts in Kent, I got bored.

Then the History Channel discovered Egypt. I've seen more pyramids than you can count. When they went from UFO sightings to unsolved crime, they lost me. Why not film a show on, say, the history of the outrigger canoe for a change?

Slowly it dawned on me that a television set might not be as essential as, say, your heart or lungs. Why get another one? I decided to see what would happen if I didn't have a TV set.

It launches you into an alien world, like getting a divorce. You have to forget. I made myself stop looking at the television schedule when I read the morning paper. But there are other reminders all over the Living Section.

Evening is the worst. I got to thinking nostalgically about the Jim Lehrer News Hour, the violence in Iraq and the hype in Washington, John Wayne reruns. "Na Mele" tugged at my heart strings and memories of "Antiques Road Show" stirred me deeply.

My God, I wouldn't be able to watch the UH Wahine whack that volleyball. I confess, I went to Sears and bought another television set.

Reach Bob Krauss at 525-8073.