What they mean: For a bunch of out-of-work taxidermists.

What they say: "It's been a great off-season for us."

What they mean: It is almost August and I haven't had to bail one of my players out of jail yet.

What they say: "We'll use the preseason predictions for motivation."

What they mean: And so will the athletic director when he reminds me my contract is up for renewal.

What they say: "Anything can happen this season."

What they mean: And if we somehow have a winning season I'll believe in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

What they say: "Tumbleweed Tech is the team to beat in our conference this year."

What they mean: Anything to take the heat off us.

What they say: "We'll take 'em one at a time this year."

What they mean: And, except for the bye weeks, that might still be too much for us.

What they say: "I have a lot of respect for Coach What'shisname."

What they mean: Can you believe that guy still has a job?

What they say: "Quarterbacks get too much attention when they win and too much blame when they lose."

What they mean: But, hey, it is sure better than picking on the coach when things go bad.

What they say: "Take away a couple of plays from last season and we could have won our conference."

What they mean: Or, take away some different ones and we could have finished last.

What they say: "Our players are excited about the opportunity to play a national championship contender on the road."

What they mean: And our administration is excited about being able to bank a couple of bucks after paying the medical insurance bills.