FAMILY MATTERS
Stress accentuated among relaxed
By Ka'ohua Lucas
I try not to show it, but I am almost always under intense pressure.
Work does it for me, often trying to juggle family responsibilities.
When I have a lot on my mind, it looks like I'm angry.
"Mom, why do you look so mad?" my 14-year-old asks. "What did I do?"
I have to explain to him that just because my jaws are clenched and I have a crease in my brow that does not mean I'm angry. I'm just a tad stressed.
If you look closely, you can see me grinding my teeth. My neck and shoulder muscles are tense.
My children call me "Auntie Snap" when I scold them.
There are many ways to relieve stress. Experts advise that regular exercise releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood stream. These act as "happy pills," improving moods, relieving pain and generally making you feel better.
We have all heard that eating properly is another way to improve health. Having a balanced diet that includes fresh fruits and vegetables is another way to help relieve stress.
One way to cope with stress is to not leave things to the last minute. I'm pretty good about trying to keep on schedule.
I do not do well under pressure. However, one member of my 'ohana thrives under stressful conditions.
He is the ultimate procrastinator. Every morning, he wakes to sip a cup of coffee, have "a little brekky" and read the newspaper. His only kuleana (responsibility) in the morning is to drive my youngest to school.
As the minutes tick by, our 9-year-old urges Dad to hop in the shower.
"Come on, Dad, I gotta get to school!"
"What? It's not that late," Dad says, pouring himself another cup of steaming brew.
When our daughter recently returned home from college, my husband asked for her to comment about his timeliness.
"I got you to school on time every day, right?"
"You made my life a living hell," she joked.
"Well, one needs one's beauty rest," he said, stroking his chin.
I try to relax and not allow his lethargy to cause me undue stress. But as the hour hand nears 7 a.m., it's time for me to intervene.
"Honey, it's time for your morning shower," I chirp in my best sing-song voice.
"We've got plenty of time," my husband says, turning to the sports section. "By the way, you look stressed. What's wrong?"
I wonder if it was the clenched jaw or the twitching eyelid that hinted at my condition.
Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.
