KISSES AND MISSES
Ditch that may-stray boyfriend

By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Staff Writer

You could take one of two approaches to this: denial or disgust.

Maybe he's just curious. Maybe he would never stray. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

And maybe you two will live happily ever after.

But I don't think so.

I'd go with the disgust approach. That's the theory that if, after seven years, he's trolling around for something better, it's over. Let him and his mouse go clicking off into the sunset.

Why can't he be honest and talk things out? Maybe it's just your bad luck.

But his excuses don't matter much at this point.

Words are overrated.

Trust is priceless.

Dear Tanya: I just graduated from high school, and I really like this freshman girl. I only discovered I had feelings for her after she started going out with someone else. I confessed how I felt via e-mail. Then I told her I just wanted to be friends. I really don't know how she took it because we communicated through instant messaging, but I think I made her feel bad. Please advise me on what to do.

The problem with instant messaging in matters of the heart is that you're never sure of the tone. You could be SCREAMING, or you could be whispering things you could never say out loud. But that's just one of your problems.

The second thing is the "let's just be friends" speech is always tricky to pull off. In this case, it's mature of you, being that she's seeing someone else.

But there's that delicate matter of age to consider. And those few years make a big difference when you're out of high school and she's underage and still in it.

At this stage of life, crushes come and go. Graduate from this one. And be wary of what you instant message. Sometimes words are better spoken in person.

Need advice on a topic close to the heart? Write to relationships writer Tanya Bricking Leach at Kisses and Misses, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; or e-mail kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com.