Celebrating fatherhood

By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Staff Writer

Rhea White wipes her husband Joshua's brow as he holds their twin sons, Adriel and Gabriel, on a warm afternoon in Kapolei. Jeff Widener • The Honolulu Advertiser

Dodd didn't want dads to feel left out. She kept thinking of her father, William Smart, a Civil War veteran widowed when his wife gave birth to their fifth son, who raised his six children by himself on a farm. His only daughter made a case for dear old Dad. The next year, Spokane's mayor proclaimed Father's Day in June, the month of Smart's birth.

It took 56 more years before President Lyndon B. Johnson made the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers in 1966, designating the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. This year, an estimated 66.3 million men in America are eligible for the honor. But it takes more than meeting the eligibility requirement to be a dad worth honoring.

Moments in life like baseball games and family dinners make the best memories for families with something to celebrate. Today, we're catching up with four sets of fathers and sons who have shared the little slices of life that are what fatherhood is all about.

Joshua, Adriel and Gabriel White

A year ago, Joshua White was single and had no children. Oh, how a year can change your life.

He got married in September. His wife, Rhea, gave birth to twin boys five months ago. And two weeks ago, Joshua turned 25.

He's a more mature man than he was before parenthood.

In a word, celebrating Father's Day for the first time is "cool," he said. He won't have the day off, but no day is an off day for parents of twins.

Fatherhood has given him drive to find a higher-paying job than working for a hotel, he said.

"Things you never thought you'd want or need matter more," he said.

But the quiet moments matter more, too. One of his favorite things to do with sons Adriel and Gabriel, at this stage in life, is just to watch them watch the world.

A few days ago, he was amazed watching one of them try to figure out how to fit plastic keys of a rattle in his mouth.

He could stare at them for hours. But there are too many other things to do.

"I'm trying to keep up with everything my wife does," he said.

Isn't that the official mark of fatherhood?

Joe and Cole Cheng

Joe Cheng wants his 16-year-old son, Cole, to learn life lessons from golf. "We're all going to have bogeys in life," he said. Andrew Shimabuku • The Honolulu Advertiser

"I grew up without a father," said Cheng, 51, who was born and raised in Taiwan.

When he was about 12, his mother married an American soldier and they moved to the United States.

Here, Cheng wanted to give his two sons and two daughters a life of opportunities, and he wanted to spend time with them even though he and their mother are no longer together.

When Cole, his second-youngest, expressed interest in golf at age 9, Cheng pulled out his old clubs.

"He shortened them to my height and taught me how to play," Cole said.

Cole, who turns 17 next month, will be a senior at Maryknoll and is on the golf team.

His father hasn't been able to beat him for the past couple of years, but his dad gets more out of just their conversations in the car and spending time together than he ever would bothering about the score.

Cheng likes golfing together because it teaches them both about winning and losing.

"Golf is like a slice of life," he said. "You learn from it. It teaches us how we deal with things. We're all going to have bogeys in life."

Saiji, Jimmy and Aaron Zakimi

Every Monday, Saiji Zakimi, his son Jimmy and grandson Aaron get together at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on Beretania Street. Afterwards, they all go out for dinner. Rebecca Breyer • The Honolulu Advertiser

Their favorite things to do together are "really just sit and talk," 82-year-old Saiji said, and "being in church. It really unites the family." He's a father of four, grandfather of 15 and great-grandfather of four.

The Zakimis gather at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on Beretania Street, which Saiji joined in 1950 and where he's twice been a bishop. Today, the church elder has family following in his footsteps.

Jimmy, 47, is a high counselor in the church, and Aaron, 14, will soon begin intensive studies that begin at 6 a.m. before he goes on to Roosevelt High School, where he'll be a freshman in the fall.

When they were at church last week, Jimmy led a session on "honoring they father and mother," appropriate for Father's Day week, and a tribute to his father, a veteran of the 442nd Regimental Combat Team and former juvenile probation officer.

John and John Jr. Hopkins

John Hopkins gives his John Jr., batting tips at Ala Moana Beach Park. After years of turmoil, he's learned how to be a good father. Deborah Booker • The Honolulu Advertiser

He was in prison, sentenced to 10 years for accumulating a dozen DUIs and running into a world of trouble.

"I was a full-blown alcoholic," he said. "I lost a good marriage and custody of my son."

John Hopkins Jr., "John Boy," didn't see his dad from the time he was 5 until he was nearly a teenager.

Today, Hopkins is making up for lost years.

He was released from prison after three years to attend rehab, and he's been sober for two years.

John Boy and his mother have returned to Hawai'i from the Mainland, and the 13-year-old spends weekends with his father.

Hopkins, 40, loves to play catch with him and go to church at City of Joy in Nanakuli, where Hopkins started a softball team. He also coaches a youth team, the Wai'anae Yankees, and a men's team, The Scrubs.

Hopkins works two jobs (as a waiter at Cafe Laniakea downtown and as a store merchandiser), and he says family has become his priority.

This Father's Day, he's in California picking up his niece's 5-year-old son, an addition to his family. His niece is having problems, and Hopkins understands. He'll be the child's legal guardian.

He says he's finally learned what it takes to be a good father.