KISSES & MISSES
Hubby hardly home? Enjoy the time you have with him
By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Staff Writer
| • | Fixing a friendship
A former Nanakuli girl living in California misses the friendship she once had with an Island schoolmate. The last time she visited, she left feeling like the friendship was in shambles. What should she do to repair it? Weigh in by voting online. |
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— Work or Me in Pearl City?
Just to test my reaction to your letter with other people's, I read it out loud to my co-workers in the features section. One of them mocked it, saying, "Call the whaa-ambulance!"
So my gut reaction, seconded by my deskmates, is quit your whining and count your blessings.
Are you silly for not being happy? No. Your feelings are your feelings. You can't help that.
But you can remind yourself that you can't rely on your husband (or anyone else) to make you happy. Make yourself happy by having your own life when he's working. Give yourself a project, take a class, go to the gym or keep yourself busy with things that make you feel good about yourself.
That doesn't lessen the great times you'll have with your husband when you're together. It will keep you from resenting your time apart.
To be honest, I can't answer this without being a little selfish. As someone whose husband is about to be deployed to Afghanistan for a year, I have little sympathy for your situation. At least your husband is here.
You signed your letter "Work or Me." Unless you plan on bailing out of the marriage, "either/or" doesn't seem to be an option. Looks as if it's Work AND You, and that equation balances out.
Need advice on a topic close to the heart? Send your tales, worries and woes to relationships writer Tanya Bricking Leach at Kisses and Misses, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com; or fax 525-8055. Letters may be used in columns. Please include your neighborhood and daytime phone number.
