By Christie Wilson
Advertiser Staff Writer

How I Spent My Stay-at Home Vacation:

Day 1: Drop the kids at school and return home in time for second half of "ER" rerun. Another "ER" and two "Golden Girls" later, am making serious headway into mountain of dirty laundry, unearthing long-forgotten wardrobe pieces. By end of the day, every item of clothing in four-person household is washed, dried, folded and neatly placed in drawers or hung in the closet.

It's a stunning sight. Realize we all could go at least three weeks without doing laundry and not repeat an outfit. So, why are we always scrambling in the morning for clean underwear?

With laundry and housework out of the way, rest of the week can be spent in more leisurely pursuits.

Day 2: Wake up to a house as messy as it was yesterday morning. Teenage daughter whines, "I don't have anything to wear."

Vow not to waste any more precious vacation time on housework or laundry.

Spend most of the morning cruising surf shops to buy new (used) surfboard for son. Have resolved to get kids to the beach at least once a week. After school, drive daughter to the mall to shop for shoes for sophomore banquet. Return home, pick up the boy to take in matinée of "Hellboy." Share popcorn, Icee and red licorice.

Later, over a home-cooked meal, daughter says: "It would be so awesome if you could stay home all the time."

Pause.

"But I also need you to work."

Day 3: After morning routine of light-housework-while-watching-TV, head to salon for spa pedicure. Aaahhh.

Read Oprah magazine and decide to switch polish from wintery reddish-brown to an almost iridescent pink for spring — toughest decision I've made so far this week. Wonder if I'll have time for a massage?

Day 4: Been eyeing kayak at Costco for the past couple of weeks, and, unfortunately, vacation coincides with arrival of tax refund.

Pack swimsuits, towels, surfboard, kayak, cooler and bucket of chicken, and surprise kids after school by heading straight to the beach. As sun dips into the blue Pacific, mull stay-at-home-mom thing but can't figure a way to wriggle out from under bills and extravagant spending.

Day 5: Break own happy-golf-marriage rule by tagging along with husband for nine holes. He complains about my cart driving but shoots a decent score, and we hold hands over lunch before picking up the kids.

Days 6 and 7: Follow usual weekend program scheduled around children's sporting events. Head to the beach Sunday afternoon for one last hurrah, but melancholy has set in. Didn't get around to sorting photo albums as planned, had hoped to take in a couple of grown-up movies, and didn't get that massage.

Tomorrow, it's back to the office. At least I'll have an excuse for neglecting the housework.

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com or (808) 244-4880.