Defuse teenage angst
Advertiser Staff and News Services
Chelan Crane is at the stage of life just before everything changes.
Deborah Booker • The Honolulu Advertiser
She's 11, and the fifth-grader at Lanakila Elementary has never been to a boy-girl party, has never been allowed out late enough to establish a curfew and is not allowed to have a cell phone. Her parents have yet to leave her to fend for herself for an evening at their 'Ewa Beach home. They don't consider themselves overprotective, just cautious.
Tony Crane and daughter Chelan, 11, a fifth-grader at Lanakila Elementary, shoot some hoops at their 'Ewa home.
Her dad, Tony, a former police officer, has seen enough to know it's not too early to talk to her about such dangers as drugs, and he'd like his only child to feel comfortable talking to him about anything.
"She's still young," he said. "I'm kind of worried about the teenage years. I want to be more of a friend than a powerful force above her."
Assuming the role of friend and parent is a balancing act.
The staples of adolescent angst still bubble up today during the teen years: Alcohol, drugs, sex — and the peer pressure that follows them — still register as hot spots of concern for teens, parents and healthcare professionals.
Yet one national study found most adolescents have very good relationships with their parents.
In a recent study, 74 percent of American teens said they get along with their parents extremely or very well, just like Chelan Crane, whose parents pick her up every day after school, attend her basketball and volleyball games, play board games with her and whose dad regularly shoots hoops with her in front of the house.
Chelan expects her relationship with her parents to stay the same, even when she reaches the teen years, when pressures and dangers multiply.
Teens across the country responded to the 2003-2004 State of Our Nation's Youth Survey by the Horatio Alger Association of Distinguished Americans in Alexandria, Va. The organization's annual poll compiles responses from young people across the nation, ages 14-18.
In the same survey, 81 percent of young people said having close family relationships was very important in their definition of success.
Parents and healthcare professionals mentioned some specific challenges teens face growing up in the 21st century:
• Methamphetamine use is especially dangerous among girls, says Janice Lane, director of the Cornerstone Recovery Program in Ankeny, Iowa. As a result, some of those teens suffer from depression and eating disorders.
• Homeland security and "high alerts," and the danger of strangers and kids with weapons, including guns, are pressures kids face today.
• More exposure and access to ecstasy, meth and date-rape drugs as early as elementary and junior high school.
Exposure to sex and violence on television and in movies today can affect children's behavior, some studies have found, says Jim Hall at the University of Iowa's College of Medicine.
Many parents of teens agree that keeping their kids busy with activities — band, drama, sports and jobs — means less idle time for trouble.
The Cranes say they know what their daughter is up to and that it's important to know youngsters' likes, dislikes and interests, know their friends by name and not let them have too much free time.
Chelan's mom, Cindy, said she also makes sure to tell Chelan every day that she loves her. "I kind of didn't get that when I was growing up," she said. "I think it's important."
Gannett News Service staff writer Dawn Sagario conceived of and contributed national information to this report.
Advertiser staff writer Tanya Bricking Leach contributed the Hawai'i interview.
