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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, May 13, 2004

Grammer strengthens character, on and off set

 •  'Frasier' bids a fond adieu
 •  Little-known tidbits about 'Frasier'

By Mike Hughes
Gannett News Service

In a moment of self-analysis Kelsey Grammer viewed the way he's changed during the "Frasier" years.

"I'm very much more comfortable in my skin than I used to be," he said.

That may be an understatement. Grammer's psychic discomfort has sometimes been profound. He's been to jail and to rehab; he's had, by his account, warm romances, wretched divorces and breakups.

Still, the quality of his work has continued. That's one thing that impressed his co-stars.

"The thing I admire about Kels," Dan Butler, who has the occasional role of Bulldog, said in 1997, "is (this): We all fall down in life ... it's a test of your character, the grace with which you absorb it."

Grammer has tried to deal gracefully with tragedy.

The torments of Grammer's off-camera life have been laid out in his eloquent autobiography ("So Far ...," Dutton, 1995) and interviews done over the years.

"My father was a big, brawling wild man," Grammer wrote.

Grammer was born in St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands and his father, Allen Grammer, left when his daughter (Karen) was a newborn and his son (Kelsey) was 18 months. He stood more than six feet tall and weighed 300 pounds. He was outspoken via a radio show and a newspaper; he made enemies and was murdered when he was 38.

A much bigger jolt came to Kelsey when Karen apparently surprised three teens who were trying to burglarize the Colorado restaurant where she worked. She died after being stabbed 42 times.

In his mind, that was part of a pattern. "Everyone I've ever loved has left me," Grammer wrote.

One reason for that could be the choices he's made. Grammer wrote about the complexities of his mother and grandmother, about "my early training with women of difficulty." He said he usually picked women who were bright, beautiful — but very needy. "My understanding of love was that it meant being needed."

He has been divorced twice and has had many breakups. He was sentenced to 30 days in jail in the early 1990s on a drug arrest but was released after 11 days because of a shortage of space. His cocaine addiction grew.

At one point in the fourth "Frasier" season, Grammer's addiction was out of control.

"My personal life did start to invade my work a bit," he said in 1997. "And that's the first time that ever really happened to me. Thankfully, I got some help — and the work, of course, got stronger."