Posted on: Sunday, May 16, 2004
FAMILY MATTERS
Hitting hot spots at midnight ... with Mom
By Ka'ohua Lucas
Ah, to be 21 again.
The threshold of life.
The age of lost innocence.
All-night celebrations.
Wild partying.
So when my daughter asked me to visit her in Washington, my
initial reaction was, "You sure?"
She was turning 21.
Why would any soon-to-be 21-year-old want to celebrate her birthday with her mother and grandmother in tow?
"Mom," she assured me. "I just want to be with 'ohana."
So off her grandmother and I went to Washington, leaving the men to fend for themselves.
On the eve of May 4 — an hour before the bewitching hour — my daughter, her apartment mate and I were in the living room.
"Mom, I really want to go to a bar at midnight to celebrate my birthday," she said. "And I want you to come so you can be the designated driver."
The last time I was in a bar for twentysomethings was when I was twentysomething. And I didn't "ring in" my 21st birthday with my mother, nor did I even consider having her with me.
This was truly going to be an experience.
"OK, so where do you want to go?" I asked.
My daughter and her friend, Sophie, looked at each other and shrugged.
"Don't you folks know where the happening spots are in town?" I asked in disbelief.
Shrug, again.
Giggles.
I couldn't believe it.
Here were two extremely attractive young women — described by some as "bronze goddesses" — not quite sure which bar to patronize.
I peppered them with a series of questions in the hopes of eliciting a response.
Where do your friends go?
They don't go out.
Where do some of the college students hang out?
We don't know.
What's considered the hot spots?
We don't know.
"Well, when in doubt, refer to the Yellow Pages," I suggested.
"That's a great idea, Mom," my daughter giggled.
She snatched up the book and began thumbing through it.
"What do I look under?" she asked. "I found only one place to go dancing and it's listed under clubs."
"Try lounges," Sophie said.
We spent the next hour, sifting through the Yellow Pages.
As frustrating as it was to analyze the pros and cons of attending one bar vs. another, at that moment a sense of relief washed over me.
My 21-year-old was stepping over that threshold and onto the bumpy path of adulthood.
She was going to be OK.
Her idea of an entertaining weekend is to watch "Pride and Prejudice," a BBC television series.
Or to study.
Or to host dinner for a group of friends.
As I sat on a bar stool watching Sophie and my daughter boogie to some unknown tune, I was amazed at how well they danced.
They padded back to the bar with their mint-melon thirst quenchers in hand.
"Hey, you guys dance pretty well considering you aren't barflies," I remarked.
The two of them giggled.
"That's because we watch MTV at home on Friday nights and mimic the moves of the dancers," my daughter said, taking a long sip from the straw of her drink.
"That's about the extent of our weekends, Mom."
And thankfully so.
Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.
