Are sleepovers a good idea for your children?
By Doreen Nagle
Gannett News Service
Kids' sleepovers are here to stay, but parents need to know with whom and when.
Getting started
Around the age of 5 or 6, children become intrigued with the idea of staying at a friend's house overnight. However, the concept might be more attractive than the reality at this stage. Start by letting your child stay at a friend's house later than he normally would while you grab dinner and a movie. Tell your child you will return once the movie is over and he can then make the choice to stay with his friend overnight or go home with you. Bring his pajamas along to have the adventure be taken more seriously.
Assure your child that he always can call you to pick him up from a sleepover if he changes his mind once he is at his friend's house. Make sure he has a way to stay in touch. When you get the "Come get me" call, don't belittle your child for not making it through the night. Let him know he can try another time.
If your child is unwilling to spend the night at a friend's house, arrange to have his friend stay over at your house. Your child will make the connection between having fun and sleeping over.
Going coed
Coed sleepovers have rapidly increased in popularity during the past several years. Is one right for your child?
Your youngest sleepover guests likely will show less interest in the opposite sex being present than older children will. Older ones will need stricter ground rules on things such as who gets dressed where, who sleeps where, etc.
— Advantages: Older boys and girls who like to "hang" together find the party can continue in a healthy way by sleeping over. Parents who like the idea say teens do not have to lie to them about where they are because they have parental approval.
Littler ones learn that the opposite sex is not just for dating but for participating in equal intellectual and social exchanges — important qualities in developing more intimate relationships later on.
— Disadvantages. Let's face it, older boys and girls sleeping near each other all night could feel uncomfortable as hormones start to kick in. How they handle those feelings will depend a great deal on parental guidance and ground rules.
Younger children who get used to casual sleepovers with the opposite sex might develop a blasé attitude about sleeping together in a more sexual way as they get older.
Organized sleepovers
Many opportunities exist for slumber parties sponsored by the Waikiki Aquarium and other recreational venues. Call your local organizations to see what is offered.
