By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

Director Jim Nakamoto watches the final dress rehearsal and takes notes for the performers.

"It doesn't matter how much they project on stage," he says. "When the students see the show, it's going to be so loud in here, you won't be able to hear what they're saying anyway."

Every four years for the past 50 years, McKinley High School faculty and staff put on a show for the student body. It is an amazing act of self-sacrifice on the part of the teachers. They buy or make their own costumes, they rehearse on their own time and they gamely take to the stage and face the screams of laughter from the students.

Nakamoto taught drama at McKinley High School for 27 years. He retired from teaching in December 1989, but he never really left the school.

"Oh, I think I've directed at least one show a year here ever since," Nakamoto says.

In addition to directing student productions, Nakamoto is always pulled in to direct the faculty show. Current McKinley drama teacher John Newkirk is part of Nakamoto's cast. The students who run the sound and light cues for the production are astounded to see how Nakamoto bosses their teachers around.

"They tell me, 'Ah, Mr. Nak, you yell at them too, yeah?' "

He jokes that directing teachers is much harder than directing students. They don't listen, he says. He shakes his head, but he's laughing.

Nakamoto sits up in his chair when McKinley Principal Milton Shishido takes the stage.

"Ai-ya! He's still holding the paper! He was supposed to have learned the words by now!"

Shishido plays the May Day King in the show, which is a send-up of a traditional school May Day pageant.

And the May Day Queen? McKinley Athletic Director Neal Takamori in a purple-and-white mu'umu'u.

"This show is good mix of talent and enthusiasm," Nakamoto says. "A little bit of talent but a lot of enthusiasm."

Some of the numbers are actually quite lovely, like the Chinese "Jasmine Blossoms" piece, where dancers in brightly colored satin costumes float crepe paper flowers through the air.

Other pieces are purely for the delight — or horror — of the students, like a hip-hop dance number to "Get the Party Started," choreographed by art teacher Randy Kurisu.

Some of the teachers said they were too nervous to eat even before the dress rehearsal. Some said they couldn't sleep the night before.

Nakamoto points out teacher Raymond Low in the Filipino "Tinikling" dance number.

"He just couldn't get it until he saw a PBS special on Filipino dance," Nakamoto says. "He taped it and watched it over and over and analyzed it on a spread sheet. That's the only way he got it."

Well, sort of. Almost as if on cue, Low's foot gets caught between the snapping bamboo poles. His other foot is already bandaged.

They're loath to admit it, but the 100 or so faculty and staff members in the show have a great time putting on the over-the-top production. Retired teachers come back to see the show and reminisce about their time on stage.

"We're laughing inside because it feels so good to be on the outside," they tell Nakamoto.

"We wanted to run on stage and join in ... but nah!"

The show builds to a hysterical high point when Principal Shishido does a rendition of "She Bangs" that makes William Hung look subdued.

The Faculty Show is a one-day only performance, though the cast put on two shows so the entire student body could see it. The students can't all fit into the auditorium at the same time. As a sort of punishment for nonparticipation, the teachers who aren't in the show have to stay in the gym during both performances to supervise the half of the student body not in the auditorium.

On Thursday, during the first performance, there was even a surprise for Nakamoto.

Faculty at McKinley had been trying for years to get the school's theater named after him. It was already named after someone else. So they went for the next best thing: They named the stage after him. A brass plaque proclaiming the "James A. Nakamoto" stage was unveiled.

And then the school principal got on Mr. Nakamoto's stage and did "She Bangs" — without the paper.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.