Parents explain how to handle grad night
| • | Families striving for safe spring |
By Michael Tsai
Advertiser Staff Writer
Ruth Ann Smith thought she was prepared when her oldest daughter, Nicole, graduated from Kahuku High School 17 years ago.
• Get there early: In most cases, parking is limited. You'll also want to be able to choose a seat where you can actually see your graduate. Car-pool if you can. • Get a parking pass: Aloha Stadium is offering $2 parking passes (regular $5) for graduation through the respective high schools. • Get the lay: Graduates are usually told well in advance where they will be sitting and where they will go after the ceremony. Some schools even offer maps. • ... And the lei: It's a Hawai'i tradition to bury your favorite graduate in a variety of colorful lei, be they flower, money or candy. Graduates also often exchange lei with their classmates, and you never know when you'll bump into the kid of an old neighbor or co-worker. So bring a few extra; they'll never go to waste. • Shoot smart: Most schools have their own official photographer to capture the important moments. If you plan on buying a copy, don't bother duplicating the same shots. Instead, look for different perspectives and focus tight on familiar faces. Be sure to check out the school's rules for photography. • Keep a list: Most graduation lei don't come with gift tags. You can help your graduate keep track of thank-yous that will be in order. Write down the names of people who bring notable lei and other unmarked gifts. • Keep cool: Day graduations can be particularly tiring, especially for older people. If the rules allow, you might consider bringing a bottle of water, sunscreen, sunglasses, a hat and an umbrella. You might also bring a folding chair and set it up in an out-of-the-way spot in the shade so an older well-wisher can sit while waiting for the graduate to emerge.
Though she and her husband, Phillip, weren't born in Hawai'i, Smith lived here long enough to know they should bring a lei.
Tips for attending a Hawai'i graduation
She almost got it right.
"We had never been to a Hawai'i graduation before," Smith recalls with a groan. "We didn't know what a big deal it was. We brought only one lei for her, and we didn't bring anything for all of her friends and other people.
"I felt so bad. We don't have family here, so I was so thankful that her friends' parents brought leis for her. She would have only had our one lei."
By the time their seventh child, Kimberly, was ready to graduate from Ha-wai'i Pacific University last year, Smith was an
old pro at local-style pomp and circumstance.
She left the house early, stopped by Chinatown to pick up some lei and made it to Waikiki in plenty of time to get a good parking space and a good seat.
"But," Smith said with another groan, "I forgot the camera."
So therein lies Hawai'i Graduation Rules Nos. 1a and 1b: Know what you're getting yourself into and don't be surprised if you still screw up.
With the high school graduation season in full swing, thousands of Hawai'i residents are braving overloaded parking lots, humid gyms, and post-ceremony seas of wandering humanity to share in their favorite graduate's big day.
But, as Smith and other savvy spectators can attest, a little strategizing can make the ordeal much less daunting.
Smith will have another chance to get it all right next Thursday when youngest daughter Bethany, 17, graduates from Kahuku as one of several valedictorians.
In past years, Smith has gotten together with other parents a night before graduation to make lei and reminisce. Sometimes she takes loose candy, ribbons and string to the graduation so she can make lei while she's waiting.
Usually, Smith tries to get to the graduation site a half-hour to 45 minutes early to ensure a parking space. Either she or her husband will look for a couple of choice seats.
"I like to get close to the stage so I can get a shot of them as they cross the stage and get their diploma," she said.
Photographer's advice
Spencer Kamauoha is another veteran of multiple Kahuku graduations. His daughter Natalie, one of the other valedictorians, will be the fifth of his seven daughters to graduate from the school.
Kamauoha, who used to be the official school photographer, has seen his share of bad graduation photos. For shooting from the stands, he recommends a camera with a good zoom lens and 1600 speed film.
"The new digital cameras have specific settings for distances and for shooting indoors," he said.
As far as lei go, Kamauoha makes sure he picks up a few nice ones in advance. If he needs more, he might go to one of the ubiquitous vendors that set up in the periphery of the event.
Rinda Fernandes, student activities coordinator for Kaiser High School, said parents and other spectators can ease the stress and uncertainty of attending a graduation by preparing early.
"The kids by the rehearsal time know exactly which seat they'll be sitting in," Fernandes said. "They can tell their parents where to look if they want to take a photo from the stands."
Kaiser hires an official photographer and restricts audience members from going down to the athletic field, where the ceremony is held, to snap their own shots. Kahuku this year will have a designated spot roped off for parents to take photos.
These are the type of special considerations parents should be aware of (and let other attendees know) before the graduation, Fernandes said.
Fernandes said it is also important to make specific arrangements for meeting after the ceremony. Kaiser, like most high schools, sets up lettered posts so students can arrange themselves by their last name. Still, any one of these areas can be congested by hundreds of people.
"Being specific helps," she said. "For our graduation, the A's are by the goal posts, so you might tell your child to meet you by the left post instead of just the A section."
Been there, doing it better
Eve Pascua of 'Ewa Beach said she's been to "literally hundreds" of high school and college graduations over the years. She has the spectator thing down to a science.
A nephew drives Pascua and her two sisters to the graduation as early as possible.
"We stop at Cindy's (Lei and Flower Shoppe) first and we get all different kind lei," she said. "Shame the kid get all the same kind lei."
At the graduation site, Pascua and her sisters take out their folding chairs and wait outside in a designated spot for the rest of the family to arrive.
"That way, you go in and out together and nobody gets lost," she said.
"Afterward, the kid knows once she sees one of us, the whole gang is close."
Pascua said she always packs a water bottle and a day's worth of medication because graduation days have a way of drawing out into night.
"Even if the ceremony is only an hour, you've got to assume you're going to be out pretty much all day," she said.
Reach Michael Tsai at mtsai@honoluluadvertiser.com or 535-2461.
