FAMILY MATTERS
Son, friends gracious guests at birthday bash
By Ka'Ohua Lucas
Last weekend, we celebrated my now-14-year-old's birthday.
Three weeks ago, I had asked how he would like to celebrate.
"Do you think I can have it at Tutu and Grandpa's house?" he asked.
I didn't realize that my in-laws were in the midst of renovation. My mother-in-law was out of town. My son called his grandpa, who immediately approved of having the sleepover at his house.
"I think that's a grand idea!" Grandpa said.
The birthday boy created invitations on our home computer and distributed them to his friends. Soon after, my mother-in-law returned home, unaware of the party plans.
A week before 15 boys were to descend upon her home, my mother-in-law learned about the birthday bash. She was momentarily caught off guard, but amazingly recovered quickly.
"Don't worry about it (the renovation)," she assured me. "Having my eldest grandson's birthday party at our house is more important."
In ancient times, it was common for the Hawaiian to welcome unexpected relatives or strangers into his home.
"Nou ka hale — yours is the house — was a courteous way of telling the guest that he was very welcome," wrote Hawaiian scholar and language expert Mary Kawena Pukui in "The Polynesian Family System of Ka'u, Hawai'i."
"Mai ho'ohilahila — do not be bashful."
For as long as I've been married, I have never felt unwelcomed in my in-laws' home. They exude hospitality.
Upon her return home, my mother-in-law spent the week reorganizing the living room and kitchen areas. My father-in-law twice went shopping at Costco to pick up food and supplies.
It was no surprise to me when my son asked his guests to form a circle and join hands to bless the evening meal.
"Before I say the pule (prayer) to bless the food," my son said, "I would first like to thank my grandpa and tutu for hosting this party at their house."
I was so impressed with my son acknowledging his grandparents and their hospitality.
The overnight party went along without a hitch. The boys played football on the lawn and swam until the wee morning hours.
After everyone had settled on the living room floor to watch a video, I happened to peer over at the lounge chair. There, on the Barcalounger, lay my husband, fast asleep. The next morning, I asked him why he had fallen asleep before the guests.
"These group of boys were so well-behaved," he said. "There was no reason for me to stay awake."
I have to admit that this was one of the mellowest birthday parties we've ever hosted.
Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana page, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.
