Emotional eating feeds a vicious circle of unhappiness

By Chris Swingle
Rochester (N.Y.) Democrat and Chronicle

Emotional eating can be caused by stress, frustration or even a need to celebrate. Exercise and journal-writing can help stem the habit. Gannett News Service

"I need something salty right now that will make me feel better," she says aloud. She makes a big bowl of popcorn and digs in.

Emotional eating is eating not from physical hunger but from emotional hunger. It's eating because you're stressed, anxious, mad or upset, or because you're happy and want to celebrate.

At the extreme end are eating disorders, where the normal eating routine is so disrupted that the person binges or starves and feels out of control.

Emotional eating is less debilitating and more widespread, says Jeanne Nicchitta, a registered dietitian and clinical nutrition specialist at Golisano Children's Hospital in Rochester, N.Y. "I think we all do it a little bit," she says.

The problem, she says, is that food won't resolve bad feelings in the long term. "Food won't be a solution if it's not the real need."

Karen Ellmore of Bloomfield, N.Y., agrees. When she has a bad day and wants to feel better, she feels an urge to eat. She has been known to polish off a box of Cheez-Its, but life isn't better after 2,400 calories and 120 grams of fat.

"It's numbing. You're not even tasting," she says. "Then you feel worse, so you eat more. It just spirals."

Many Americans irrationally expect always to be happy. So when we fail or we feel hurt, we think there's something wrong with us and we look for a quick fix. "And food is everywhere," says Ellmore, who remembers as a child the joy of baking cookies with her mother. Reaching for food can be an attempt to re-create those happy times.

Ellmore found helpful information in the book "Overcoming Overeating" by psychotherapists Jane R. Hirschmann and Carol H. Munter (Fawcett, $7.50). Putting the knowledge into practice was tough, but Ellmore has dramatically changed her approach to food.

Since January 2003, with the help of strategies learned at Weight Watchers meetings, Ellmore has lost 85 pounds. When she wants to eat, she has learned to first consider whether she's actually hungry. "If you're not, try doing something else rather than eating. Go for a walk. Have a glass of water. Pet the dog. Clean. Call a friend."

Nancy Wilson, Weight Watchers at Work manager for the Rochester area, says physical activity helps people clear their minds and cope with stress, so that's a two-in-one solution. She says parents can unwittingly teach their children to eat emotionally by making food a reward, such as giving their toddler candy for successfully using the toilet.

In adulthood, Ellmore has learned not to deprive herself of foods she loves but to eat them in moderation. If she buys Cheez-Its, she divides the crackers into one-portion bags and puts them back in the box.

Nicchitta says other people find it helpful to write about their feelings. She likes "The Woman's Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life" by Jennifer Louden (HarperSanFrancisco, $18) and "When Food Is Love: Exploring the Relationship Between Eating and Intimacy" by Geneen Roth (Plume Books, $14).