Posted on: Monday, November 22, 2004

ABOUT MEN

By Peter Boylan
Advertiser Staff Writer

There are two kinds of local kids: the ones who love Hawai'i so much, they can't bear to be away from the Islands for more than a moment — and those who find value in seeing what the Mainland is all about.

My younger sister is in the latter group.

She left for a Mainland college in September, stoked to finally get out from under the watchful/curious/protective eyes of her immediate family members.

Her senior year at Mid-Pacific was typical for a teen, full of angst, convinced our parents are the Antichrist while struggling to maintain a long-distance relationship with an older dude who matriculated a year earlier.

Thankfully, I was not sharing a house with her at the time. By her account, the tension made Ohio look like a lightly contested state.

While I couldn't counsel her about how to handle over-inquisitive parents, I could teach her a little bit about navigating the dangers of college. I left for college. I joined a fraternity.

Days before she left, I told her: "Don't drink too much. Don't talk to older guys. They're not nice and don't care about your freshman biology class. Study hard and go to every class. And whatever you do — do not hang out with fraternity guys. ..."

Her first month was the typical adjustment period. She dealt with the awkwardness of new surroundings, the realization that every place other than Hawai'i is ridiculously Caucasian — and the long-term, long-distance boyfriend she wanted to be close to dumped her. (I warned her about him, too. After all, his parents had named him after a popular peace rally held in upstate New York in the late 1960s.)

Recognizing her struggles to adapt, I called her on Halloween.

My sister has many things going for her — a quick mind, common sense and a keen ability to keep clear of trouble. She's also 18 and pretty. She posed for Honolulu Magazine at the age of 3. By high school, a steady string of suitors lined up to date her.

So, on Halloween, I asked what she was up to.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just getting ready to go to a party with some friends," she said.

Who are you going with?

"Oh, just a friend of mine. He's a senior in a fraternity here," she said.

Senior? Frat guy? ... "What are you dressing up as?"

"Me and, like, six other girls are dressing up as Victoria's Secret models. ..."

I almost choked. I started screaming.

Any guy who has a younger sister knows he's responsible for her well-being. Parents are good, yes, but they can't handle real issues, like lingerie and frat guys. But just as I started to preach, she calmly chimed in:

"You know what, Pete? I can handle myself and you are the last person that should ever be telling me how to behave."

My sister.

Sometimes, I wish her mind wasn't quite so quick.

Reach Peter Boylan 535-8110 or pboylan@honoluluadvertiser.com.