Those are meaningful words to a 12-year-old girl who misses her father terribly. Two weeks of R&R in Hawai'i went by too quickly for Army 1st Sgt. Tony Rodrigues, who returned to Afghanistan Nov. 7, leaving behind his wife, Beth, and five children.

Until the visit, Emma had not seen her father since April 21. "If I think about Dad, I start crying," she said. "Being away for a year means Dad misses everything — Christmas, Easter, even his birthday."

It's hardest for Emma at night, but having a sister there saying "everything will be OK" is comforting.

Days are better because of school. At Wheeler Middle, where 70 percent of the students have a parent deployed in Iraq or Afghanistan, Emma knows everyone is trying to keep busy for the same reason.

Yellow ribbons and bows are tied to trees in the driveway of Wheeler Middle School, where many students have deployed parents. Richard Ambo • The Honolulu Advertiser

" 'Resiliency' is a buzzword," Vierra-Chun said, "but our kids and their families live it day-to-day. Our students and families are amazing."

Students say the support they get at the schools, from peers and from staff, helps them cope.

"If we were at an off-post school, people wouldn't understand," said 13-year-old Zachary Skells, an eighth-grader at Wheeler Middle whose father, Army Capt. Stephen Skells, has been in Afghanistan since March 22. "Here we're all similar."

Vanessa Boehm, 12, left, and her sister, Kimberly Boehm, 13, help make lei before school and during their lunch periods. Jeff Widener • The Honolulu Advertiser

The two boys are enjoying volleyball, while Michelle Skells is president of the school's Parent Teacher Student organization. She recently coordinated a student cookie fund-raiser that brought in $7,400.

"We know (our troops) are doing good things over there and that they're there for a purpose so we can't fall apart (at home) or they can't do their job," Michelle Skells said.

Damon V. Lile, 12, seventh-grade class vice president, says he draws strength from his mother, Veronica, and father, Sgt. Maj. Damon Lile, who recently came home on R&R from Kuwait.

"I get strength from my mom," he added. "Sometimes, she sits me down to talk about what's going on. She's straightforward about it."

Thirteen-year-old Kimberly and 12-year-old Vanessa Boehm, daughters of Army 1st Sgt. Timothy Boehm, who is in Iraq, keep busy by playing volleyball for the school. Kimberly is also the eighth-grade class vice president. In addition, both girls can usually be found making lei for returning troops before school and during lunch period in student activities coordinator Kimberly Fujimura's classroom.

"Despite the stress that war brings, our students demonstrate resiliency and enthusiasm," Fujimura said. "The students are making leis, taking part in school musicals, collecting money for worthy causes and participating in after-school sports."

None of the students interviewed follow media accounts of the war, relying instead on calls home from troops for information on what's going on.

"The news usually tells a different story," Zachary Skells said.

His mother, Michelle, explained that "news will report how many soldiers we lost, the battles, but not the good things they're doing, like giving food to the people or the vote to women (in Afghanistan). There was a small story at the bottom of a page on the women voting."

Keeping busy doesn't prevent the reality of war from striking the heart. At Wheeler, everyone feels the pain of a death or injury.

"One of my close friend's father died in a helicopter crash (in September) and we went to see her at home that day," said Ashley Bloecher, 13, whose father, Sgt. Shannon Bloecher, is in Afghanistan. "She couldn't come outside but told us what happened."

A consoling hug among friends would have to wait.

"She came back to school but left last month for Texas," said Ashley, a cheerleader. "We did get a chance to say goodbye. It's hard."