By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

In the spirit of the holiday, today is time for local sports fans to take stock of all they have been blessed with this year.

So, enjoy the day and don't forget to pause and hoist a drumstick and give thanks that you:

• Aren't the guy who has to try and stop West Keli'ikipi at the goal line this weekend.

• Aren't Ron Artest's neighbor when something from your tree falls on him.

• Didn't give up those Rainbow Wahine volleyball season tickets just because everybody said it was going to be a "rebuilding year."

• Aren't behind the Northwestern offensive line in the Thanksgiving buffet line.

• Don't have to shake hands with Moises Alou before he goes to bat.

• Don't have to referee the June Jones-Joe Moore spat.

• Aren't the next ESPN guy who has to convince UH to play a Friday night football game on the Mainland.

• Aren't the Indiana Pacers' on-call legal counsel.

• Aren't Mack Brown the week of the Texas-Oklahoma game.

• Didn't have to explain to George Steinbrenner how his Yankees missed out on the title after spending all that moolah.

• Don't have to pitch to Barry Bonds.

• Didn't ask Tim Montgomery to keep a secret for you.

• Weren't the Washington State volleyball coach when Victoria Prince decided to transfer.

• Don't have to balance the Athens Olympic budget.

• Weren't the one responsible for booking Florida Atlantic to start UH's football season.

• Didn't bet everything on Ricky Williams leading your NFL fantasy league team.

• Aren't the College Sports Television network trying to duplicate KFVE's volleyball coverage.

• Aren't within chair-throwing distance of Frank Francisco.

• Didn't have stock in BALCO.

• Weren't the KKEA radio crew that had to do "Fan Phones" after the blowouts at Boise State and Fresno State.

• Aren't the Bowl Championship Series official who has to explain to Auburn why it might not play for a national title.

• Aren't a barber dependent on Johnny Damon's business.

• Weren't a men's gymnastics judge at the Olympics.

• Didn't invest in an NHL souvenir store.

• Don't have to shop for shoes for UH center Chris Botez.

• Aren't a college football coach who has to recruit against Southern California.

• Aren't the UH football team's medical insurance carrier this season.

• Don't have to produce a Chicago Bulls highlight video this season.

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.